bifocals

those crazy things you wear on your face, but for a good cause

look at that idiot wearing bifocals

by samuek November 20, 2004

Bifocals

A weapon of mass destruction used by crazy rapist fathers.

"OH FUCK HES GOT THE BIFOCALS "

by JuicyMcSanders June 9, 2018

Akron Bifocals

The act of strategically placing ones testicles in the eye sockets of an unsuspecting person, while aligning one's shaft directly on top of the person's nose. This act is supposed to represent bifocal glasses and was first practiced in Akron, Ohio.

Jeff: Lebron James is such a douche bag for leaving the Cav's!
Me: If I ever see that nigga im going to give him the akron bifocals!

by What would LBJ do? November 24, 2010

Nigerian Bifocals

The sexual act of dipping one's testicals into fecal matter and/or feces, and thus proceeding to gently plop one's testicals upon the eyes of his partner. SEE: ARABIAN GOGGLES

I went to a craigslist optometrist, Dr Puup Jarvison, and all I got was Nigerian Bifocals and pink eye.

by Poop Jarvison November 15, 2014

Bilinear Bifocals

Optical powers on seeing variables or positions that aren't seen to the normal perspective.

I was driving down the road and looking at the clouds and was like wow, bilinear bifocals.
It's what happens when you eat too much mescaline.

by Bcook January 21, 2009

the bifocals

When a male ejaculates on a female's eye glasses. The male must fill each lense with his semen. After the lenses are filled with semen, the female must put the eye glasses on her face and go to the mall.

Man, I saw this chick at the mall yesterday that looked like she got the bifocals.

by PB & Jelly January 5, 2011

Bend yer bifocals

My latest contribution to the giggle hungry folk of the interweb! A refined, cultured way to say, well, basically... "You're about to get creamed 😬🤣🤙🏼".

This fresh-to-the- market catchphrase is to be delivered in the most northern Irish accent possible, obviously for maximum giggles 😬🤣.

"Oi yer bastard, I'll bend yer bifocals!" said Seamus to the ponce that was caught drilling his missus...

by StevePoodle August 3, 2025