1000% Pure Man 

The most amazing man on Earth. Usually compared to Chuck Norris in stature. Can be found(only if he wants u to) on call for Jesus. The man the whore spoke of in the bible(Ezekial 23:20). Made up the best word ever(allowed it's use in the big bang theory): Bazinga!!! Side note: big bang is what happens whenever Caleb has sex. No need for condoms because he is so large that by the end of mastication there is nothing left of the female reproductive system. What is left however, scientists refer to as a "black hole." You are The Caleb Anderson!

They once tried to make a 1000% Pure Man(The Caleb Anderson) toilet paper, it failed miserably however because The Caleb Anderson doesn't take any crap.

The Caleb Anderson was once a paper boy... There were no survivors.

The Caleb Anderson destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

The Caleb Anderson can touch MC Hammer.

The Caleb Anderson will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

The Caleb Anderson doesnt wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

The Caleb Anderson ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

The Caleb Anderson played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

1000% Pure Man by Mason Sanders June 3, 2010