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Captain’s Prick

A variation of Captain’s Pick, which in the original definition, is an unqualified and unknown/untested guy who is plucked from obscurity (by the head honchos) and helicoptered into a role within a work team, which is way, way out of his league.

This same guy, has neither been peer accepted or consulted-passed - nor will he ever be, coz he is so developmentally challenged that he will never progress, yet still enjoys the privilege of patronage by the top brass.

That’s the original definition, but the pun version (Captain’s Prick) has this same guy having the added dimensions of being obnoxious to the team, never contributing to team effort and what’s more…. he dogs others to the Captain just to get himself and the charade (of his competency) ahead!

All these, while never being made to be accountable for anything himself, coz he is inexplicably endorsed from above (due to the nature of his appointment) and so he is allowed to remain the way he is, indefinitely.

So much so that the others, either start leaving the job or have fantasies of leaving or at worse… have disturbing fantasies of overpowering him and hog tying him up and dumping him into a giant vat upon firewood and setting it to boil (muahahahaha!).
The big bosses at my GF’s workplace not long ago, ushered in “Jason” into the role of Team Manager- he is an untested nobody whose last position was as a mailroom boy.

But he has a glib tongue which convinces the top brass that he is made for greater things.

Jason turns out to be a real Captain’s Prick.

Due to his incompetence, unhelpfulness, nastiness and treachery, he has upset so many people that just last month, within the space of just one week: Jan, Steven, Cynthia, Robert and Melissa all quit in disgust.

Now there is just 2 left in the team - my GF being one of them - she comes home crying to me every night!
by BentoBoxHanz June 26, 2022
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Captain Navad

Leader of the Private Squad. A man who will lead the world through the golden age.
Private Pascal: Bro I just got promoted to Captain Navad's 3nd in command.

Ryan: NO!!!! I'm the worst on the squad now.
by DnEiCgOgYa August 26, 2022
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Capitolicism

Pretty much just America's version of Christianity.
Did Lazarus meet his deductible before undergoing the procedure that revived him performed by Jesus Christ? That's why we need Capitolicism. We can't have Jesus just giving away free healthcare!
by KaktuzTooTousandTree September 11, 2022
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Captain Monkey

The most followed Albanian geography account on TikTok.

TikToker that’s known for geography videos, memes, gags and more!
Man 1: Hey dude I just was one of Captain Monkey’s videos!

Man 2: I know me too! How does he make such good maps?
by AnonymousApe January 12, 2023
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captain fingers

a man who does not kiss but just fingers.
by Xx_soulhunter_xX July 23, 2023
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Captain Cananada

No, his name is not Captain Canada. Captain Cananada is a huge superhero who loves to save the day at any moment!
Captain Cananada is going to save us from The Face!
by babyjohn991 September 20, 2023
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Pimp Captain

A Pimp Captain is someone so bad-ass, he not only pimps the hoes, he pimps the pimps.
There are a number of ways to become a Pimp Captain. For example, if you moon walk on your knees, back-hand a pimp three times consecutively, hire your wife as your hoe then divorce her but keep her as your hoe, etc.
by Officer Jimmy December 29, 2010
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