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pole hammer 

When a guy gets slammed by a fat chick on top. To the point when an indentation is left in the bed, or he is left with very little penis after the sex.
"Got pissed last night, met up with a chick. She was very fat and totally pole hammered me!, woke up at 3am and needed a ladder to get out of the hole she left me in!"
pole hammer by Baxta December 26, 2006
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dumb hammer 

A Dumb hammer is a flaccid penis that is attached to a stupid, wasted, drunken man. Who will flash his penis and expect everyone to think it is something that is worth looking at.
Brian was in his house and his windows were open and he was choking his chicken and someone outside looks in and can see him spanking his money and yells, Quit abusing your dumb hammer....

Or

Brian, sittin in his lawn chair naked and wasted, sloshing his beer down his gullet, stands up and yells, "Get a load of this and stands up and waves his penis at the crowd. Someone from the crowd laughs and points, laughs and yells, PUT THAT DUMB HAMMER AWAY.
dumb hammer by eve co October 4, 2009

Fatmans Hammer 

A sex act. The Fatmans Hammer is a follow on from a regular Blowjob. Whilst being Fellated you slowly lift your arms and your legs until your whole bodyweight is being held purely by the Fellators mouth. To finish the sex act flawlessly, you must start to spin, clockwise or anti-clockwise, until you make a full rotation.
Awesome Dude: I was getting a blowjob last night

Other Dude: mmm-hmm

Awesome Dude: And I started lifting my arms and legs until I was suspended purely by her mouth.

Other Dude: mmm-hmm

Awesome Dude: I then did a FULL rotation, clockwise.

Other dude drops his monocle into his fresh cup of Darjeeling tea

Other Dude: Dear god. The Fatmans Hammer. I thought it was a myth!

*Awesome air guitar for 35 minutes, the loch-ness monster and Bigfoot start making out, fireworks and fucking awesome laser light-shows ensue. The amount of high-fives worldwide increase by 480%*

vegan hammer

The vegan hammer is the incorrect idea that any problem on earth can be solve by going vegan. Are you under weight, over weight, bad knees, heart disease, cancer, global warming, global cooling, world hunger, toe fungus, El Niño, La Niña, all things can be helped by veganism! (according to vegans...)

This goes back to the Law of the instrument, which is that if you have one familiar tool you will become overly reliant on it.
Or in simpler terms "if the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail".
I had a flat the other day and Heather said it was because I didn't use all vegan tires. She really needs to stop using her vegan hammer on every problem.
vegan hammer by joeevil October 28, 2015

ball and hammer 

When a women performs oral sex on a man taking both shaft and nut sack in her mouth simultaneously.
Damn, the wife has really perfected the ball and hammer. I wish she had those skills 10 years ago!

One Eyed Twat Hammer

Oi Oi.........show us your "one eyed twat hammer"

Get your lips round my "one eyed twat hammer" you batty crease!
One Eyed Twat Hammer by Bloke A! October 23, 2009

Jack Hammer

having a girl lay on her back on the floor with ass in the air while you are horizontal above her with hands on the coutch and feet on end table jack hammering the piss out of her.
Mike broke the table last night tying out the jack hammer on his new girl.
Jack Hammer by batman63 May 28, 2006