n. A large American pickup
truck owned and driven by an ignorant male redneck. Such a truck will have one or more of the following characteristics:
(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for
heavy hauling.
(
2) Equipped with a gun
rack
(3) Bears red-
white-blue ribbon stickers,
yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless
America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc. May be adorned with a Jesus fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer
mom's minivan or SUV.
(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-redneck vehicles.
(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.
(6) Is the redneck's most prized possession, after his
woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.
(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the
gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.
Every morning, Joe drove his redneck
truck to
work at the peanut factory, and every evening, Joe drove his redneck truck to night
school where he was finishing his GED. Every Sunday, Joe drove himself and Winnie-Mae in the redneck truck to the First Baptist Church and in the evening to the KKK barbeque.
