73 definitions by Carl Willis

n. (Educational Testing Service) A white-collar corporate gang in Ewing, New Jersy, headed by Kurt Landgraf. They peddle the SAT and GRE assessment products on the street to vulnerable youths who don't know how to say NO. A greedy parasite that should be eliminated for the betterment of society. See also: Tollbooth on the highway of education.
Those poor students had to pony up $115 to the ETS in order to get admitted to college.

"We da ETS, we be hangin' wif da Kurt-rock, and we be all up in your shit if you don't pay us your protection, FOOL!"

Kurt, I'm gonna bring my posse up on ETS turf and get me a goddamn refund one of these days CHUMP!
by Carl Willis May 22, 2004
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n. A resident of the United States of America. (See also "Amurka").

However, an "Amurkin" should not be confused with an "American." Persons self-identifying as "Amurkins" by their dialect tend to hail from the South or Midwest, be poorly educated, ignorant, white, xenophobic, Republican, evangelical Christianists. The backs of their necks tend toward a crimson hue. This contemptible type of individual tends to be sanctimonious without being pious, judgmental without being informed, nationalistic without being patriotic, and militaristic without having one damn whit of experience serving their country. They will also be bigoted beyond comprehension. In short, they are a serious blight upon their homeland.
The Amurkins' Oath:

On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to the sweet Baby Jesus and to my fellow Klansmen; to uphold the Jim Crow and sodomy laws; to help other Republicans at all times; to keep myself and my truck strong and manly in appearance, to keep my mind more ignorant than a gol-durned fencepost. And Lord, above all, may you keep this nation morally and sexually straight through your Guiding Hand and One True Mouthpiece...our Eternal President, George Dubya Bush. Amen.
by Carl Willis September 22, 2006
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n. Popular and well-earned nickname for the ETS (Educational Testing Service), who produces and sells the GRE and SAT assessment tests. This parasite hauls in more than $0.6 billion in student money every year from its illegal monopoly on the testing market.
Every high school and college student in the country has to throw some big cash to ETS, the tollbooth on the highway of education. If a student doesn't pay his toll, he is usually shitcanned and forced to slave away at a McJob for the rest of his life.
by Carl Willis May 22, 2004
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v. fr. throw To provide one with a beat-down.
by Carl Willis November 4, 2003
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Bill got a liquor license for his shop down on the Res, and needless to say, he ain't doing too bad!

All the casinos are down on the Res.
by Carl Willis August 27, 2004
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n. (1) Cocaine, particularly the fine powder of higher purity that is preferred for snorting by the wealthy. However, it CAN sometimes refer to crack rock in the ghetto.

(2) The mixture of partially hydrogenated, synthetic, spun fats and corn sweeteners that constitutes the standard filling in an Oreo cookie.
Her friends always knew that Courtney Love had a predilection for the white stuff.

Cop: Do you have anything on you that I need to know about?

Demetrius: Naw man, we doin' it all proper this time...NAW, whatchu wanna look in there for, man...SHIT that ain'tcho bidness man...

Cop: What's this? (pulls out a sack of crack rocks.)

Demetrius: (Sigh) That's the white stuff, just a little. I'm sorry officah. I ain't never gonna...

Cop: Looks more yellow that white. Did you cook this up, Demetrius? Be honest with me now.

Demetrius: Yessah. Mostly bakin' soda an' some chalk an' some Rat-B-Gone. I'm really sorry officah. I ain't ever gonna...

Cop: (Puts "Big D" into cruiser.) Watch your head there son.
by Carl Willis August 26, 2004
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Adj. Presenting the outward appearance of one's identification with urban ghetto culture through affected attitudes, mannerisms, language, or dress.
Deshante sauntered slowly to the principal's office in his F.U.B.U jacket and do rag, making his best effort to look thugged out despite being only twelve years old.
by Carl Willis July 28, 2003
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