shore duty problems

The US Navy's version of white girl problems. A shore duty problem is only a problem because you work in an office building at a slack-ass fleet support job, and life is good. Shore duty problems are commonly experienced by sailors who have not been assigned to a ship in a long time, and consequently have their threshold for flipping their shit grossly miscalibrated. Those who have spent some time on sea duty know what actual problems are, and are much less likely to go ape-shit over such trivial annoyances.

Shore duty problems may include:

-"Powerpoint froze before I saved my work and now I have to reopen it and spend 10 minutes entering this data all over again! AAAAAAAGH! I'm going to bludgeon everyone in this fucking office to death with my three-hole punch!"
-"We're not allowed to watch YouTube videos at work anymore?! GRRRAAAAGH! This is worse than being raped in the mouth! I'm going to break my keyboard in half and then strangle your children with my mouse cord!"

In comparison to common sea duty problems, which are actually worth freaking out over:
-"Toxic hydrogen sulfide gas is leaking into my berthing."
-"The sewage system is broken and I am covered in liquified human excrement while trying to fix it."
-"I am literally on fire/being electrocuted/getting shot at by Somali pirates right now."

by onshoreduty November 1, 2011

Meatball Problems

the minute challenges faced everyday by short, overweight, outgoing women, with big boobs, wide asses, and no common sense who like to drink alot and act sloppy. Most often associated with Deena and Snooki on the cast of the mtv show "Jersey Shore"

Snooki: "Owwww!" "I just burned my cuca in the jacuzzi!"

Deena: " Ha WTF, me tooo!"

Snooki and Deena: "Meatball Problems!" Bahahaahaha

by Billy shavez November 5, 2011

problette

Noun.

1. A small problem which is not thought to seriously endanger the completion of a task or project.

There is a problette -- I don't have enough cash for the cinema tickets but I can pay by card.

by Kilkrazy October 1, 2004

Corn problems

Corn kernels stuck in your shit from not chewing the corn good enough to digest it properly.

Jed: my gosh mother I think I have corn problems again
Mom: son you need to take time to chew your food

by Jedi_7 March 14, 2020

Elvis problème

A problem that needs solving but the solution strangely requires excessive amounts of oisters/lubricant

"We might have an Elvis problème over here."

by that_Sloppy December 8, 2020

First World Problems

It's very easy to mis-interprate the definition of "First World Problems" but once you truly understand the pain you go through when your Wi-Fi wont work or your mum only gave you one lolly instead of two, you just dont give a fuck.

First World Problems: "I'm Hungry"
Third World Poblems "I'm Hungry"

First World Problems: "Muuuuuuuummmmm!! The fucking showers gone cold again!"

by Sk4llsRPG January 1, 2015

99 Problems

to have a lot of problems, but not girl problems.
from Jay–Z's song 99 problems, produced by Rick Rubin.

guy 1: "hey man, what's up with you and that girl from 5th period?"

guy 2: "99 problems man, 99 problems."

guy 1: "nice!"

by boom boom b July 26, 2004