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Witness me

An extreme version of hold my beer.
A battle cry before you do some dumb sh*t
originated from mad max
"Witness me motherf*cker", he said as he brake checked the car tailgating him
by Zb0ss July 30, 2020
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Jehova's Witness

Foolish, destructive, evil sect.

I was happily married and had two wonderful little boys.
The mother of my first wife "got religion" with the JWs and then brainwashed her daughter to become one.
As an atheist I accept other's ideas, so I went along with the idea and accepted her going to the JW meetings where she was indocrinated into their ideas. However, at the insistence of her local JWs she started to try and convince me to go and become one if them.
I said that I was happily an atheist and that the bible was written by men not God.
From then on things went from bad to worse and I was officially and publicly declared to be The Devil.

We divorced and I am now happily remarried with two lovely girls.

Jehova's Witnesses directly caused the breakup of my marriage and caused two innocent young boys to be subjected to the pain and loss which now, after 30 years still affects my oldest boy.

Jehova's Witneses are evil fools.
Yes! Open the door to the Jehova's Witnesses and tell those fools that their stupid, evil, ignorant ideas caused the breakup of my happy marriage and that I despise and hate them for it and will never forgive them.

Then tell them to fuck off and slam the door in their face.
by soreofhing July 7, 2009
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Jehovah's Witnesses

Students of the Bible who preach the "Kingdom of God." They claim that their God--Jehovah--is using Jesus Christ to bring an end to the world as we know it.
One of Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door, shared a scripture, and offered me a Watchtower magazine.
by Mack C January 16, 2007
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Witness Brotection

Lying to someone your bro doesnt want to talk to about the whereabouts of said bro
"Yo, dude your ex called. She wants you to pay child support."

"Oh man, put me in Witness Brotection, say I'm in Africa with some missionaries or something."
by Cpt. Panda March 15, 2009
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Without Witness

noun. a rock trio consisting of three gentlemen who enjoy writing creative, original songs
Did you hear the debut album from "Without Witness"? I found it on iTunes.
by musicfanatic99 December 17, 2012
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Jehovah's Witness

A group of people who's faces are flat from getting doors slammed in their faces.
Jehovah's Witness: Ouch, my face feels like Kansas.
by slatte November 13, 2006
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Dawkins' Witness

Slang term for evangelical atheists, who are always trying to convert you to atheism. A take-off on Jehovah's Witness, who are always coming around trying to convert you. These guys are the same thing in reverse, preaching Richard Dawkins to anyone who will listen.
Man, a Dawkins' Witness just came by my cubical preaching again. I couldn't get rid of him.
by DelawareGuy January 4, 2008
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