Skip to main content

prostitute mortician

A person who is hired to have sex with a corpse who has wished not to die a virgin.
“The dead man needs a prostitute mortician to come in and de-flower him.”
by Hughmungus309 August 30, 2020
mugGet the prostitute mortician mug.

firing the mortar

a hand motion that simulates masturbation.

to perform properly, start with your fist cupped as if ready to masturbate away from you body, bring your hand down to your crotch as if it were a mortar round being dropped in a mortar tube and then open your hand and return very quickly to the starting position. this simulates the mortar round exiting the tube and it looks very much like a wad of jizz being ejaculated from a male one eyed monster.
im gonna go fire my mortar{followed by the hand motion}.

im firing the mortar on the hooker's face {hand motion}

i just fired my mortar all over that hooker's face {do the hand motion}

anytime i get nervous my mortar fires prematurely {hand motion}
by ihtfpfmlmfwp January 27, 2009
mugGet the firing the mortar mug.
Related Words

pestle and mortar

When you drop chilli and the tip of your penis touches the porcelain of the bowl.
Industrial toilets seem to be ok, unless you're hung like Chuck Norris, but when you go to your grandma's house and she has that tiny little crapper with the fuzzy blue rug and seat cushion; you are guaranteed to pestle and mortar that rig.
by ty187 June 17, 2010
mugGet the pestle and mortar mug.

french mortar

When one shoves a croissant in their own shitter and proceeds into duck and cover position with their ass aimed high in the air and lets out a massive fart launching the croissant into the partners mouth making for a delicious treat.
Madison got into position and launched a perfect french mortar right into andrews mouth.
by ElongD69 November 7, 2017
mugGet the french mortar mug.

Morting

Shaniqwa: Olivia Pope needs her own man! Tired of basic b*tches hopping on my men.

Me: MORTING!!!!!!!!
by thedinosaurxx January 30, 2016
mugGet the Morting mug.

mortard

The combination of a moron and a retard.
Joe: I can't believe someone actually let Rebecca Black's song "Friday" air.

Jesse: The producer was a mortard.
by Khandali July 15, 2011
mugGet the mortard mug.

mortiversary

The anniversary of a person's death.
December 8th 2005 marked John Lennon's 25 mortiversary.
by Jules_of_troy November 15, 2006
mugGet the mortiversary mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email