The Feces Touch 

When everything you touch turns to shit. The opposite of The Midas Touch.

Agreed. He has the Feces Touch.

The Feces Touch by Pistol Pete Maravich February 20, 2011

Golden Touch 

A person who is very lucky and can fix most problems by mearly touching or slightly tweaking the object, for example, a master IT programmer who removes a trojan in only a few keystrokes would be claimed to have the golden touch.

"I can't believe you fixed that without hardly doing anything, you must have a hell of a Golden Touch!"

Golden Touch by Dazzamon April 20, 2006

Inappropriate touch tuesday 

Inappropriate touch Tuesday is a term coined my comedian Daniel Tosh. It is a made up holiday that requires participants to go and inappropriately touch others. The others are most likely non-participants in this holiday. It should be noted that two people of the same sex inappropriately touching each other is not to be considered gay unless the two are unaware or non participants or the touch is extremely gay.

Chris walks by and brushes up against Carolin's butt
Carolin: WTF you pedo
Chris: but it's inappropriate touch tuesday!
Carolin: Oh, I cant believe I forgot!

Inappropriate touch tuesday by Brew Kellen May 17, 2011

Don't touch my junk 

A stern warning to TSA gropers to not touch John Tyner's penis or balls when told he was about to undergo a "groin check".

Don't touch my junk. If you touch my junk, I'm going to have you arrested. -- John Tyner, San Diego Airport, November 13, 2010

Don't touch my junk by RealTailDragger November 22, 2010

Because you touch yourself at night 

The truly ultimate responce to any kind of stupid or annoying "why" question, or simply to a question you cannot answer.
That answer will totally piss off annoying kids who ask too many questions.
See also: because you're gay.

Kid: Why did the dinosaurs die out?
Tour guide: Because you touch yourself at night.

Son: Why do you drink so much, dad?
Dad: Because you touch yourself at night!

Little brother: Why don't you ever let me into your room?
Big brother: Because you touch yourself at night, you little brat!

Because you touch yourself at night by Urban_Fellow June 24, 2006

tender touch

A tender touch is a loving, slow, gentle touch that makes your senses go wild, every little caressing movement driving you into ecstasy

"Upon her tender touch, in her arms, my knees can't help but weaken ♥"

tender touch by leetNightshade December 27, 2009

minus touch 

instead of 'midas touch' where everything you touch turns to gold, the 'minus touch' is everything you touch turns to crap

andrea has the 'minus touch'...she tried fix the doll's arm and then the other arm snapped off

minus touch by randi8 July 6, 2010