THE SALAD GLOVE® 

(noun) a glove, developed by the band Andrew Jackson Jihad, that is used to eat salad whilst avoiding dangerous forks and messy cleanups
(noun) a useful eating utensil that is latex-free and one-size-fits-all
(noun) an easy and clean tool that enables you to FIST FUCK YOUR HUNGER™
(noun) that shit you can buy that, along with your iPod, you can sell to Bookmans when your wife dies and you lose your job (from the song People II: Still Peoplin' by Andrew Jackson Jihad)

**Tuesday 1:30pm - Two young men are sitting in a corner booth at Denny's - Max is frustrated with his Caesar salad**

Max: I know I'm being a bitch, but don't you think eating croutons with a fork is next to impossible and fucking annoying?
Tim: Dude, you need THE SALAD GLOVE®.

THE SALAD GLOVE® by Maxwell Dope November 14, 2013

right in front of my salad 

a meme from a gay porn scene where two guys are fucking in front of a woman who is enjoying her salad. she responds with "are you serious? right in front of my salad?" it is used to express annoyance when someone is doing something totally inappropriate in front of your eyes.

"Are you seriously being transphobic? Right in front of my salad?"

right in front of my salad by imahoeaf August 3, 2017

The Perfect Salad 

Mixed greens, vegetables, and other things.... HOYAAAA

Tyler Christian Kendall"Dang Daniel, that salad last night was THE perfect salad"

The Perfect Salad by Megalog December 10, 2016

cold salad 

Used to describe an action or statement of particular callousness.

You kicked her out, then made her keep paying half the rent? Damn, that's some cold salad!

cold salad by refriedwhiskey March 9, 2009

You Don't Win Friends With Salad 

Credit: The Simpsons

A song to sing in a Vegan's miserable face for trying to become your friend.

You Don't Win Friends With Salad, now go eat a fucking bacon butty you vegan scumbag

You Don't Win Friends With Salad by Greg_the_Smeg February 15, 2019

San Antonio Breakfast Salad 

When a man is getting his salad tossed, he ejaculates on the back of his hand just before shitting in her face. When she pulls away he backhand slaps her across the head.

Meredith won't return my calls after I gave her a San Antonio Breakfast Salad.

San Antonio Breakfast Salad by Van Jermaine October 11, 2016

Alabama Caesar Salad 

- sexual position where the female is laying with head off edge of bed, male stands over to titty fuck her while she tosses his salad.

Darrell walked into the bedroom and saw Nikki was laying on the bed, ready to give him an Alabama Caesar Salad.

Alabama Caesar Salad by OutattheFarm October 5, 2015