soccer mom

Soccer moms usually are 40 year old ladys-- excuse me, whores who got knocked up by some douchebag. Most of the time they sign they're litle 12 year old kids to comunity center soccer legues, so they're rooms are filled with plastic trophies that kid doesn't care about. Soccer moms also have organizations that heavly support groups such as: RIAA, ESRB, Parental Advisory, Peta, Green-Peace and "WWF." Because of this support many things have been restricked from young audiences.

Soccer moms also drive shity SUV vehicles like Dodge Caravan's and Mercury, and what you will usually find in those cars are sports equipement, toys and other lame stuff.

If a poor child in Africa is starving to death blame it on the soccer mom down the street.

by SweanKimerson September 4, 2006

soccer mom

An extremely offensive term for a female yuppie. She drives a mini-van or an SUV with a cell phone in one hand and a Starbucks in the other while watching a DVD player and turning around to talk to her kids in the back. She has an income large enough to vote for Hillary Clinton or some other liberal swine without worrying about having to pay the taxes, because she can shelter the money. She names her daughters Madison or Taylor or Spencer or Cassidy.

Chadwick is a soccer mom. She swears at the referee.

by Bumkicker Slade April 25, 2005

soccer mom

Woman, normally 30-50, white, Always a Christian, kids are normally home-schooled due to secular filth telling them that you can be happy. If the kids go to public school they are beaten up regulary. Hates anything that can be violent, pornogreaphic, anti-jesus, or homosexual (a.k.a everything.) Enimies include The internets, Green Day, and any good form of Entertainment.

Me: *Listens to Green Day*

Soccer Mom: Why are you listening tho that unsaved trash, you are polluting my kids minds.

Me: Guess what I'm Gay! (always a good replent on these bitches)

*Soccer Mom flees*

Me: Stupid bloke.

by RandomInsanityIsAwesome November 20, 2006

soccer mom

A progression from the shocker and surprise, but not quite the mini van. This consists of one up front with three little ones in the back.

After receiving the soccer mom, my girlfriend knew her destiny in life.

by spiralhelix June 21, 2011

soccer mom

A blonde middle-aged woman who's spent far too much time at the fake-n'-bake, barely stands five feet tall on her tiptoes, drives an SUV the size of a Sherman tank because she has a female Napoleon complex, and plasters the back of said vehicle with stickers about how her child is a straight A student at <insert here> middle school.

Most of the women driving SUV's around Richmond, VA.

by Syd Barrett December 23, 2003

soccer mom

Homemakers who have a whole shitload of kids because they don't know how to use birth control and instead of working, they spend their weeks and summers shuttling them around in their death trap SUV's to their various activities. They're usually extremely protective when it comes to their kids and try to protect them in every way possible.

I refuse to become a soccer mom. I'm having two kids, total and they'll have one activity each.

by Jennifer Strong September 4, 2008

soccer mom

Contrary to what one would think a soccer mom is not the equivalent of an older football groupie outside North America. They may have secret fantasies about Becks but the name comes from driving their kids to soccer practice in their SUVs or minivans. They are almost always upper middle class or upper class and usually white. They tend to be paranoid about any sort of sex, drugs, smoking, or obscene content in movies or music. Politically speaking they're usually Republicans (although not usually religious right type Repubs, they tend more towards being Giuliani/Bloomberg/Arnold type GOPers) in red areas or they're DLC-type Dems ((i.e. Joe Lieberman, Hillary Clinton) in Dem areas. They usually live in suburbs or exurbs although there are some that live in urban areas.

You know this area changed once the soccer moms moved in and they're trying to close down all the bars and nightclubs because they're scared about their kids.

by Rattus cattus October 20, 2006