Christmas 

The only point in time when it is okay to eat candy out of socks in front of a dead tree.

I just love Christmas! I also enjoy the candy out of my stocking (Replacement word for 'enormously large sock') and sitting in front of our Christmas tree (Replacement word for 'dead pine tree')!

Christmas by PartofAFandomFamily July 13, 2014

Christmas 

Just another day in the life for me. Fuck Consumerism.

Christmas is just another day.

Christmas by not found [Error 404] June 21, 2010

Christmas 

1. Annual commercial carnival which celebrates the birth of the Shopping Centre, usually lasting about 4 fucking months and starting earlier every year, Christmas 2005 is expected to start in August.

2. Festive period when everybody seems to go absolutely crazy, small children lose the ability to keeps their mouths shut and normally quiet individuals turn into shopping obsessed morons.

3. Time of the year in which we are supposed to rejoice in the goodness of life and forgive our fellows for their transgressions.

1. Girl - "It'll be Christmas again soon you know."

Guy - "Fuck off will you its only fucking August!"

2. Kid - "Daddy, daddy, daddy please buy me this for Christmas!"

Father - "Gibber, Gibber, dribble dribble "

3. Annoyingly happy bastard - "Merry Christmas!"

Normal person - "Piss off, fucktard!"

Christmas by Lykan December 7, 2004

Christmas 

Originally celebrated the birth of Christ. Now a time for little kids and the like to get overexcited about the arrival of a magical, bearded fat man who shimmies down their chimney to toss a bunch of presents under a big, green tree full of pine needles that otherwise wouldn't be allowed as a centerpiece for the living room.

Santa Christmas presents holiday Christians saint nick reindeer celebration egg nog gifts season winter

Christmas by Realgoodone December 18, 2011

Christmas 

A holiday that is SUPPOSED to celebrate the birth of Christ, but now has a new meaning to buy overpriced shit such as action figures, lego, toy cars, video games and machines, computers, stuffed toys, that shiny diamond in the window for your lover, a new dog or bird for a nice christmas dinner, a bag of of shit labeled "Chocolate" and other candy, mp3 players, CD's, movies, handguns, rifles, talking toys that have sexual messages to touch children, decorations, TVs, VCR's, DVD players, furniture, kitchen utensils, lamps, books, pornography, sex toys, satellite dishes, disney movies with sick messages and images, sledge hammers, landmines, robots... I think you get the idea now, eh?

Christmas is a time of giving to me, screw everyone else!

Christmas by Longjohns October 1, 2005

Christmas 

The day selected to commemorate the birth of a Jewish hippie who decided to blow off carpentry to go fishing for the rest of his life, then got nailed to a tree for his lack of a Protestant work ethic.

Merry Christmas.

Christmas by HotGingerMess June 5, 2014

christmas 

(n.) A magical time of year where Jesus Christ rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living, so we all sing Christmas carols to lull him back to sleep.

Johnny celebrates Christmas with his family by singing Christmas carols to ward off Zombie Jesus.

christmas by Jerrodimus Prime December 16, 2004