You pay peanuts you get monkeys 

Offering poor recompense for employment leads to employing poor staff who will deliver poor results.

Your teams customer service ability is pathetic!

Well you can hardly expect any better with the budget you gave me, you pay peanuts you get monkeys.

You pay peanuts you get monkeys by nznegativeions July 12, 2011

Ledge Monkey 

A person who always says he will commit suicide either because he wants the attention or wants someone to talk him out of it.

That ledge monkey says he would commit suicide but we all know thats bull.

Hey, if you're going to stay up on that ledge you might as well jump.

Ledge Monkey by Johnny Hotnuts May 22, 2008

poop monkey

An exclamation declaring something isn't going your way.

Upon realizing the meat for the sandwiches was forgotten, Pat exclaimed, "Poop monkey!"

poop monkey by slxpluvs November 21, 2009

Fucked The Monkey 

To perform a slight error that unwittingly caused horrible, catastrophic level events

reference to: the widely-believed myth that AIDS began after someone fucked a monkey, caught the disease and then spread it through mankind.

A: "so I was writing a dirty email to my girl and accidentally sent it to my boss, her husband found it on her phone, thought she was cheating, and killed her and himself, now the company is folding and 400 people are without work and since this is a private hospital it's leaving 1000 patients without care....."

B: "dude, you fucked the monkey"

Fucked The Monkey by Dyrk Diggler April 1, 2011

Monkey Island

Best. Games. Ever

Monkey Island by Anonymous October 21, 2003

flash monkey 

Some one how has a wad of money with 1 or 2 hundreds on the outside and a lot of ones on the inside. He is always flashing it around trying to impress people, most people realise the guy is all front.

Look at that flash monkey trying to impress that skank pathetic.

flash monkey by knowman April 3, 2008

i'll be a monkey's uncle 

This idiom is used to express complete surprise, amazement or disbelief.

e.g. Bob: Hey, there was a news article about an alien spaceship having entered the earth's atmosphere!
Harry: Well, i'll be a monkey's uncle!

i'll be a monkey's uncle by specimengold November 8, 2013