smoke a ham

Using a small bathroom/restroom/public stall for emptying your bowels. Taking a shit and smelling up the entire area.

Dude, I think that burrito is finally fighting back. I gotta go smoke a ham.

by BigEasyMoney August 24, 2007

Christmas Hams

Used to describe a woman whose thighs and buttocks are so large, they do in fact resemble Christmas Hams. Beware encounter with Hams, as it might be a social buzzkill.

Did you see the Christmas Hams on that chick? Made me wanna hang my stocking, if you know what I mean...

by Godbey, Duggan, Callis, Smith, Davis & Meyers January 6, 2007

Slap the Ham

Telling like it is.
It's slapping the ham on the table, and then you know.

Jamie thought his soup was lovely, but Nigel had to slap the ham about its quality. Jamie was hurt but admired his honesty.

by hamslapper March 3, 2015

cunning ham

The act of watching porn on your cellphone while taking a shit and then shooting your load all over the shit before flushing.

"I was watching Dawson's Crack last night and so had to pull a cunning ham."

by abg2011 December 1, 2011

Ham Wallet

A women's vagina. First heard from the BloodHound Gang's recent single, Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo (F*CK).

Hey Dylan, order the Ham Wallet for lunch; It's really good. (Tom and Joe laughing because he is about to order a Vagina)

by Tom Kuhns December 26, 2005

Glazed Ham

The act of having sexual intercourse with a girl doggy style (vaginal or anal), pulling out before orgasm and ejaculating all over her back and arse. At which point you would give the girl a massage using said semen as a massage oil substitute. The end result should give the girls spooge ridden body the desired resemblance of a glazed ham.

Man! thats the last time i forget to bring baby oil, I ended up having to give that girl a Glazed Ham.

by Bodgy Brothers July 12, 2007

ham sandwich

slang in police lexicon, meaning an untainted handgun a corrupt cop will have ready to plant on a suspect they've shot. Prevalent in New Orleans culture, during the militant state in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. (seen on PBS' Frontline)

My partner used to carry around a ham sandwich to pin on some poor fucker they might shoot down.

by giraffe-o August 26, 2010