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Jerk

A guy who meets three or more of the following criteria:
-He has a submissive, ditzy girlfriend who is obsessed with him because he treats her like dirt
-He thinks he's the sexiest thing on the planet, and thus thinks anyone who is NOT "the sexiest thing on the planet" is his inferior
-Swear words make up a third of his vocabulary
-He is at the gym all the time, but he doesn't go there for excercise; he goes there to show off his "guns" to all the other gymgoers, who could really care less how much he can bench press
-He refers to himself in third person
-He took his facebook profile picture without a shirt on
-His idea of comedy is anything involving the word "dick"
-He thinks smoking, drinking, and/or doing drugs makes him even cooler
-He skips class all the time because he hates anything mentally challenging
-Someone else does his homework for him
-His group of friends consists solely of other jerks, because he thinks people who aren't jerks are nerds, and no one else wants to be his friend anyway
-The number of girls he is dating is higher than his IQ

In the following scenario, one of the individials is a jerk. See if you can spot which one.
Jake: Hey, Chad. I did your homework again, but you didn't show up for class... where were you?
Chad: Fuck that shit. The Chad went to the gym to show his sweet abs to all the bitches there. Later, dick-nerd. Heh heh... dick.
Jake: What a jerk...
by Enigmatical September 5, 2010
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jerkoffice

Shirley: Why is Dan never at his desk?

Brian: This job is so boring, jerkoffice is the only way we can make time go by.
by J.Maldito May 31, 2020
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jackhammer jerkoff

When a girl violently jerks off two guys at the same time.
That chick must be a contractor, she worked those dongs like a pro. Damn I love thise jackhammer jerkoffs!
by Schna123 September 13, 2013
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Jergous

A totally awesome guy; someone who's rich, handsome, funny, etc.
That jergous is gorgeous.
by reginafresh May 1, 2009
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Jerkalerkalot

A name referencing those who "jerk" or masturbate a lot, to the extreme that they sprain their wrists while doing so.

Can also be referred to as Sir Knight Jerkalerkalot.

Used in a teasing manner, implying a sexual insult.
1. Tomas, you jerkalerkalot!
2. Wow, that's the third time this month he's sprained his wrist! Must be a jerkalerkalot.

or, alternatively,

1. He's known for jacking so much, he's even called Sir Knight Jerkalerkalot.
by the1whooalwaysknows August 7, 2012
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jerkamuhole

When you call someone a jerkamuhole it means you want someone to jerk off and cum in one of your holes.
"All i had to say was jerkamuhole and he was all over me"
by Coolkat8989 March 28, 2015
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jerk session

When you're sitting in front of your computer with PornHub open and prepare the jerk off during your porn session.

Can also be used to describe a few friends getting together to study, work or do some non-sexual group activity. The implication is that they are gay, in a funny way, therefore using the term "jerk session."
Tony: I have to call you back, I'm in the middle of a jerk session.

Michael: Hey guys, are you free later, I might come by?
Mat: Yes, what's on your mind I'm with Tom here.
Michael: I'm thinking we do a quick jerk session.
by Dakrisht August 1, 2016
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