Mallcows are clueless shoppers at suburban malls who are easily manipulated into paying for useless gadgets and superfluous fashion trends. Widely varying in age and demographics, mallcows include common suburban archetypes such as soccer moms, teeny boppers, and high school jocks.
by Ian Yeung September 21, 2006
Get the mallcow mug.An annoying ass girl who wears vans, galaxy backpacks, tribal print leggings, and "obey" sweatshirts. You can find them at your local mall, probably with a group of mall girls and boys(mall boys are the worst).
by Aswirl November 22, 2014
Get the mall gurl mug.by charlotte penny June 2, 2020
Get the malli handford mug.A mall located in Millbury MA, just off of 146. Local kids go there because there is nothing better to do, and kids from other towns go there because...well there's nothing better to do. (WARNING!!!- Enter at own risk, going to this mall on a Friday night or weekend may cause the following; extreme annoyance due to small colorful children in toot-too's, loss of hair, felony charges for loitering, and worst of all complete transformation in to a colorful child wearing a too-too)
Jon- Dude, let's go up to the Blackstone Mall this friday
Seb- No f****n' way, man, there are way too many scene kids there.
Seb- No f****n' way, man, there are way too many scene kids there.
by Meister_X April 26, 2010
Get the Blackstone Mall mug.by MyDensity August 24, 2019
Get the Gettin' Me Mallet mug.Square One Mall is the most depressing shopping mall on earth located in Saugus, Massachusetts.
Some stores that you can shop at are Macy’s which only old white women and overweight Hispanic women shop at, there’s also a furniture section that people forget that exists so it’s a great napping spot! The GameStop is so small that you can smell the cum stain and Doritos from the employees and customers that frequent it. There’s also Dick’s Sporting Goods that the only customers are middle aged black men with their kids. There’s also Sears that’s somehow still in business! Newbury comics that are frequented by obese blue haired virgins with daddy’s issues and don’t let it come to you as a shocker that they might be gay too!
The food court has had a family of pigeons that have been stuck there for the past 10 years with no hope to get out. You might notice the giant empty space in the middle of the food court that you would assume would be space for people to eat at which it was once, but the chairs were not removed due to COVID-19, but for the fact that too many people were fighting over chairs.
Some minor notes
The Disney store caught on fire once.
Lids sold drugs to minors.
The rat infestation.
The shitty pretzel place.
The cool but depressed employees.
Santa blocks that accidentally spelled satan.
Some stores that you can shop at are Macy’s which only old white women and overweight Hispanic women shop at, there’s also a furniture section that people forget that exists so it’s a great napping spot! The GameStop is so small that you can smell the cum stain and Doritos from the employees and customers that frequent it. There’s also Dick’s Sporting Goods that the only customers are middle aged black men with their kids. There’s also Sears that’s somehow still in business! Newbury comics that are frequented by obese blue haired virgins with daddy’s issues and don’t let it come to you as a shocker that they might be gay too!
The food court has had a family of pigeons that have been stuck there for the past 10 years with no hope to get out. You might notice the giant empty space in the middle of the food court that you would assume would be space for people to eat at which it was once, but the chairs were not removed due to COVID-19, but for the fact that too many people were fighting over chairs.
Some minor notes
The Disney store caught on fire once.
Lids sold drugs to minors.
The rat infestation.
The shitty pretzel place.
The cool but depressed employees.
Santa blocks that accidentally spelled satan.
Person 1: “Fuck man I was trying to shoot up some heroin in the furniture section at Macy’s that I got from Lids, but some pigeons from the food court came in and made me accidentally drop it”
Person 2: “That’s what you get for going to the Square One Mall.”
Person 2: “That’s what you get for going to the Square One Mall.”
by MoneyJC March 27, 2021
Get the Square One Mall mug.some poser wanna bes that have interest in a store at a mall called "hot topic" due to the darkness of the lights and how the lights don't hurt their corneas(funny part of the eye). They do it because they say they want to be unique, these type of goths can be reconised by their:
1. Chains wrapped around certain parts of the body(usually the crotch and the breast)
2. Outrageous hairstyles, these include: mohawks longer than 7 inches, 75% of their hair shaven off(with the other 25% hanging on the one sideusually the front right side), extreme hair color(pink with black, red with black, etc.), or the whole head shaven in random areas of the head.
3. wear a lot of black, band t-shirts, levi's dipped in black dye, then having the sleeves torn off(they usually use knives, due to their weakness powered by their misery), Converse high tops with misc. patches, tears, and pins placed in certain parts of the shoe. write band names all over their backpacks, hands, and clothing...to be continued.
4. Like to wear black make-up and nail polish.
5. listen to junky music(not all of them are that bad though).
6. Pretend to commit suicide.
to be continued in volume two.
1. Chains wrapped around certain parts of the body(usually the crotch and the breast)
2. Outrageous hairstyles, these include: mohawks longer than 7 inches, 75% of their hair shaven off(with the other 25% hanging on the one sideusually the front right side), extreme hair color(pink with black, red with black, etc.), or the whole head shaven in random areas of the head.
3. wear a lot of black, band t-shirts, levi's dipped in black dye, then having the sleeves torn off(they usually use knives, due to their weakness powered by their misery), Converse high tops with misc. patches, tears, and pins placed in certain parts of the shoe. write band names all over their backpacks, hands, and clothing...to be continued.
4. Like to wear black make-up and nail polish.
5. listen to junky music(not all of them are that bad though).
6. Pretend to commit suicide.
to be continued in volume two.
Ben: hahaha, look at those mall goths waiting outside of hot topic, just waiting for someone to notice them!!
*mall goth looks up, and tries to spit in his eye*
Ben: haha, sucker.
*mall goth looks up, and tries to spit in his eye*
Ben: haha, sucker.
by not so uber September 30, 2005
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