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Early bird gets the turd

When you take a shit in the toilet at night while there is a large population in a house (usually during family reunions) and leave it to bask in its glory and the first person to use the bathroom in the morning will have a nice suprise waiting for them.
John found a nasty shit in the toilet when he woke up one morning and Jamie said "the early bird gets the turd."
by jollygreenfucker July 7, 2011
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turd in a punch bowl

Someone or something that spoils a good mood.
Person 1: That was an awesome movie!

Person 2: Yeah, awesome special effects.

Person 3: I was so offended by that movie! Could you believe how many subliminal racist messages there were? I think we need to write a letter to the studio and tell them to ban this movie.

Later on...

Person 1: Brian's getting some guys together to go play football at his house.

Person 2: Cool, let me go get my cleats and we'll head over.

Person 3: Football's barbaric! So typical of American society to love a violent game like that!

Person 1: If you don't like it, then don't come! Jeez, why do you always have to be such a turd in a punch bowl?
by Paul785 October 15, 2007
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Related Words

Turd Willy

its a cock covered in shit.
oh, Ben, you made me get a turd willy from that intense anal sex
by australian correspondant December 10, 2006
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turd town

The town where turds dwell, (in your ass)
"I'm gonna park the beef bus in turd town". (i am going to make intercourse with your anus)
by peteypablo204 December 5, 2009
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turd pussy

The highest order of Choad. One who's such a boner, they've transcended mere turd-hood. A syphilitic hemorrhoid on a dick's pussy's anus!
"Look at that asshole with the faux-hawk, what a turd pussy!"
by Barf-tholomew Bonerpants April 13, 2010
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fake turbulence

When an airplane goes through what the passengers belive to be turbulence, but the pilot is just recieving head and can't control himself.
"This plane ride has been bumpy, must be some bad turbulence."
"Or maybe that hot flight attendent who went into the cockpit and him are doing something, she has been in there for awhile now we could be experiencing some fake turbulence."
by cuddycowboy36 April 10, 2010
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elephant turd in the room

Something everyone tries to ignore but which has gotten much worse than just the elephant.
It was somewhat easier, they all thought, to just continue to pretend not to smell the horrific, near paralyzing stench of the elephant turd in the room.
by Dr Bunnygirl November 30, 2019
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