carpenters dream

flat as a board and never been screwed

by Anonymous November 3, 2003

carpet-punching

(V)-the act of socking it to her. hard. in the vagina. once you realize how disgusting her pubes are.

when you are really excited about eating a girl out and then you realize she has extremely long pubes. so you punch her in the vagina really hard. leaving bruises.

AND

to crack ones pelvis with a hard punch in the "carpet" before sexual intercourse

Ricardo: I carpet-punched Meridith so hard last month she's been in the hospital ever since
Alberto: You're such a hard ass Ricardo, I don't know how you do it.
Ricardo: I know dude. First sight of those pubes and i knew i was carpet-punching.
Grant: Holy shit someone did the to me once..god it hurt.
Ricardo and Alberto: Man, thats just sick. We're getting out of here. Lets go punch some more carpet

by angels27forheavenforever August 29, 2009

Carpenters delight

Where a man masturbates using sandpaper rather that a bare hand. Usually results in a bloody mess and lots of shaven skin grated off the mans shaft.

I’m not fucking anytime soon, had a carpenters delight yesterday.

by Swaggy longbottom November 2, 2017

flying carpets

Rickyism for "flying colors"

"He passed with flying carpets."

by XDavid PolicastroX March 9, 2009

Carpet F-bomb

Overuse of the word "fuck" or "fucking" in your speech.

Member1: YOU FUCKING IDIOTS FUCKING BANNED ME FOR NO REASON YOU STUPID FUCKS! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!
Member2: Well, the carpet F-bombing you just pulled sealed the deal.

by Cheesy January 2, 2007

Carpel Thumbal

An ailment affecting the thumbs due to excessive texting.
Similar to carpel tunnel or arthritis

His hands are crippled up because of the carpel thumbal disease.

by Daikota April 17, 2009

Carpe diez nuts

An insult given by a man to either another man or a woman. Derived from carpe diem meaning sieze the day. Modified to either insult another man or sexually arouse a woman.

Ex. My girlfriend wanted it so I told her carpe diez nuts

Ex. My bro began to bitch me out so I told him to carpe diez nuts.

by Professor Latin March 11, 2009