telstra

Bad company, rip off telephone network. Shitty internet.

"The most secure computers in the world are ones NOT connected to the internet. That is why I recommend Telstra BigPond ADSL."

by Dylan June 26, 2004

Grandma Test

A test designed to determine user-friendliness. One asks himself or herself if a product is easy enough to use that a grandmother could use it.

Pass: Windows and AOL. While both of these are inefficient and likely to crash products, they are purchased simply because they are easy to use.

Fail: Hooking up a home theater system. Even with the right guides etc., there are still many difficulties to get around...

by The Overmind July 7, 2004

Screen Test

To smash a suspects' head into the steel grid of a police cruiser prisoner transport barrier, by slamming on the brakes, while the prisoners' hands are bound behind his back.

"The perp spit at me and started saying things about my mother, then threatened my family, so I gave him a 'screen test'."

by The partition safety nut April 29, 2010

Tissue Test

1) The process by which women rate "weepy" films. The more it makes them cry, be it through sadness, relief, happiness or just because someone had a cute face, the higher the film will rank.

2) The process by which men rate pornographic films. The more it makes them ejaculate, be it through domination, bondage, bukkake or just because someone had a cute ass, the higher the film will rank.

1) "Oh my God, you so have to watch Marley and Me, it's like a five on the tissue test!"

2) "Oh my God, you so have to watch Lesbian Fuckwhores, it's like a five on the tissue test!"

by MagickDio July 17, 2011

COVID test

A modern spin on a much loved classic. Ask her to open her mouth and say “ahhhhhhh” and then ram your cock down her throat and rub it on her tonsils. When you’re about to cum, whip it out and cum up her nose.

James- “Met a girl last night and gave her a cheeky COVID test”

Borat- “very nice, I like”

by HJ HH January 4, 2021

The Taste Test

The Taste Test is when a female pours red wine over the vaginal area while she is on her period. She then forces you to eat her out while you attempt to decipher the difference between the wine and the blood.

Yo dawg, this girl gave me The Taste Test last night and I could tell she had some heavy flow.

by Brother GUAR March 24, 2020

rock star penguin teste-blitz

A Rock Star Penguin Teste-Blitz is kinda' like Two Girls, One Cup, but instead with Mic Jagger, a dead penguin, Oscar Wilde, and The Elephant Man's skeleton.

Performing this depraved act will only lead to imminent satisfaction. Which is why Mic Jagger's there. To sing "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction".

Usually, clean up requires a few hours of hot water and scrubbing.

Jack: I just pulled a Rock Star Penguin Teste-Blitz!
Ryan: No way! Why wasn't I invited?
Jack: Oscar didn't think you'd appreciate the flavorful range of tastes and colors.
Ryan: Oh...*cry*

by fubsish August 10, 2009