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Gooning

Gooning is the dark side of the quest for the ultimate orgasm. Most gooners stumble upon the practice accidentally by edging for long periods while searching for the perfect porn scene or image to nut to. Extended edging sessions lead the gooner into trancelike states where they patiently open browser tab after browser tab for hours at a time, skilfully hovering at the brink of climax until the right stimulus is found. Successful gooning expeditions can lead to massive, seizure-like orgasms that leave the gooner barely conscious and bathed in the euphoric after-effects of their nut.

Just as the junkie increases dosage to dangerous levels and uses harder and harder substances while chasing the ultimate high, gooners become desensitised to regular pornography and must seek increasingly depraved and disgusting content to trigger that supreme climax. This can lead to the development of paraphilias and, at worst, reliance upon illegal content. Gooners cannot function without actively fantasising about sex and can therefore be identified by their rapey gaze when seeing women in public.

If you have ever edged for more than an hour with twenty or more browser windows open, you are at risk of becoming a gooner. Lay off your dick for a while and don't watch porn for a minimum of one week. This will trigger a reset and allow you to blow a load to something other than animal crush porn.
I've been gooning for so long I need to smack my balls with a table tennis paddle and watch animal crush porn just to cum. I need help.
by AidanTemple July 6, 2024
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Gooning

The act of dismissing or undermining valid criticism of a piece of media by accusing the critic of being dishonest, biased, or acting in bad faith, often paired with an exaggerated or uncritical defense of the media. Frequently accompanied by exaggerated claims that critics are “censoring” or that their critique poses a threat to discourse, this behavior is often used to justify retaliatory actions against critics.
Person A: “I think the pacing of this show is really off, and the dialogue feels unnatural. It’s not as good as people are making it out to be.”

Person B: “Wow, so you just hate fun, huh? You’re probably one of those people who’s just here to tear things down for clout. Maybe stop trying to ruin it for the rest of us.”

Person A: “I’m not trying to ruin anything; I’m just giving my opinion.”

Person B: “No, you’re just being a bad-faith hater. People like you are the reason creators can’t take risks anymore. Honestly, criticism like this is toxic and borders on censorship.”

Person A: “Okay, now you’re just gooning. I’m giving a valid critique, and you’re accusing me of bad faith to shut me up.”

In this scenario, Person B uses gooning to deflect the critique, accusing Person A of dishonesty and framing the criticism as harmful or toxic to the discourse. Person A calls out the behavior as gooning to highlight the manipulative tactic being used.
by Snarkitect November 24, 2024
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Gorping

The act of gooning while in a state of awe. More commonly known as shock gooning.
Yo, I was scrolling through instagram reels gooning, and I saw the most foul thing that got me bricked, so I started gorping.
by Flickerjelqer November 27, 2024
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gooning

by goonmaster420 December 5, 2024
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Goobing

Fingering yourself while simultaneously watching someone on the phone and sending voice messages about goobing
dude that girl said she was goobing and sent a voice message
by gastootapplepout December 31, 2024
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Gooning session

Gooning session is simply a session of Gooning. Gooning is like edging, where you get as close to ”the point of no return” as possible when masturbating.
Yo bro, I’m gonna go for a Gooning session in a bit. Would you be down to goon with me and then maybe we could fuck each other so hard that we won’t be able to walk after?
by HornyGirlHere January 7, 2025
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Gooning Day

On January 13th, 2025 it is marked that it is Gooning Day and everyone shall goon once on this day per year.
"Yo bro it's Gooning Day, go goon!"
by psa1msss January 13, 2025
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