Spank the monkey

An American state sport, in other words, jacking off. Numerous other ways of saying this include Beating the meat, playing the devil’s fiddle (for you Christian white guys).

Viktor: Dude, you gotta come see this photo of Mia Khalifa!
James: Gimme a sec, I’m gonna go spank the monkey...

by Goddamnit James February 7, 2018

Adult Spank

When you are verbally reprimanded as an adult (typically at work, can be publicly or privately) and you feel humiliated like you did when you were a kid and were spanked.

My boss is such a douche, he adult spanked me at the meeting, and I had to take a dignity day.

by Valkyrie5683 July 30, 2009

Ear Spanking

An ear spanking is what happens when someone is nagging or talking to much to the other people who are forced to listen.

1. Monica gave her husband a real ear spanking for coming home late last night.
2. Don't ask Monica what's up , unless you want an ear spanking!

by Mihighness September 8, 2005

Cock spank

to slap or spank someone with your penis across the face.

Last night, Scott Cock spanked me!

by CoCoa May 13, 2005

Spank Bank

The magical bank in a persons head where one can save,deposit or withdraw memorable mental images*,usually with the intention of having an epic wanksterbate over them later.

*i.e: tittys and ass

A: "Yo,check out the mega miniskirt on the coca-cola rep,shes goin in the spankbank"
B: "yea i'll withdraw one later."
A: "Bro that girl over there got some big big tittys"
B: "Yea dude i made a deposit into the spank bank like 8 miniutes ago."

by StringsUp300 April 7, 2008

monkey spank

A phrase that means sperm, male reproductive cells, jizz.

I hate having monkey spank all over my keyboard after I watch porn.

by mfmc April 6, 2010

spank pile

An abnormally large puddle of semen produced by the vigorous masterbation of two or more men. Can also be created by a slammin' gang bang (or railroading, bukkake etc.) when all participants unload their product in a predetermined spot (ex. Pool Table, Girls Stomach etc).

Lisa accidently sat in the spank pile on the kitchen counter and remained stuck for several hours.

by Googly Eye December 4, 2004