Masturbate

1) The most pleasurable thing in the entire universe
2)What you do when you're bored and have nothing to do
3)Why Playboys exist
4)To rub or agitate the clitoris, pussy, balls, dick, etc., to gain sexual pleasure
5)Why teenage pregnancies are less frequent
6)What I did before writing this; I got horny reading some of these definitions. By the way, very good material for getting horny. Look up Orgasm, Cum, and Fuck. Very nice ones.

1)Even having 3 orgasms, a blow job, and at least 4 cups of cum go down my throat when i fucked my boyfriend last Friday was not as good as when i masturbate.
2)Hm...... I'm bored. Hey, I know!!! I'll get my old electric toothbrush and masturbate to orgasm. What channel should i put my TV on?
3)I went to the store on the corner and got a Playboy. Now let's masturbate!!!!
4)The year is 1985. I had heard that fuck meant to have sex, and middle finger meant fuck, too. So, I tried combining them!!! I call it, MASTURBATE, or MASTURBATION. I'm sure it'll become popular.

5)Girl 1:With my vibrator, i can masturbate all i want and i can have all the pleasure i want, and i won't get pregnant!!!

Girl 2: But don't you want a baby? I mean, you're already 22.

Girl 1: Hell no!!!!!!!
6)No example, but if you get horny and masturbate to climax.... your welcome.

by IdontKNOWwhatTOdoNOW June 10, 2009

masturbatory knitting

When you decide to enter a period of celibacy, and take up knitting to fill the void in your life.

I know this girl who recently decided to lay of the sex for a while, but she uses masturbatory knitting to relieve stress and pass the time in bed.

by Joe Salone October 18, 2010

masturbatorily

Knowing and perfecting the essence of what IS masturbation, and/or beating off.

"I'm masturbatorily gifted. I can beat off anywhere, with anything, at any time." "Even though Billy is 45, he can beat it like Beckham."

"Dude's masturbatorily gifted.Got mad meat skills."

by TheExtremelyGiftedOne September 8, 2014

Masturbate

To beat your dick so fucking hard, your left leg goes numb.

I masturbate every day.

by BillyFuckingBobHadAnalBeads September 25, 2018

Kotex masturbator

Somebody who achieves sexual gratification by spanking the monkey over or onto a tampon, bloody or new.

Didja hear that Maxwell is a true Kotex masturbator? Yeah, he fishes his girlfriend's bloody tampons out of the wastepaperbasket and attempts to inseminate them! How gross!!!

by Telephony February 16, 2014

Masturbatory Aid

Anything that helps a person perform self-gratification (i.e. masturbate). These materials range from magazines to movies, but not limited to inanimate objects (i.e. the use of one's own imagination).

Playboy is the common masturbatory aid among adolescents.

by Elmer January 5, 2006

chronic masturbator

Someone wh masturbates all the time. they're probably addicted to it. doesn't necessarily have to

be a male, despite popular belief

"dylan what the fuck you doing in there"
"nothin..*thinks they're gone, violently faps*"
"dylan youre a fuckin chronic masturbator"

by long bong silvers October 29, 2018