Competitive salary

“We can’t tell you the pay scale for this job because we are well aware that this position pays low across the entire country, however, we will make it $0.05 above the average of all jobs across the board so we can refer to it as competitive. That’s right, this salary is so competitive that we’re not even gonna tell you what it is. Please apply for this position of our dying company so we can contribute to your sad depressed life and assist you in wanting to put a shotgun in your mouth.”

Job title: Cashier
We offer a competitive salary! Please, please, PLEASE become part of our “team” so that our CEO can continue to wipe their ass with $100 bills while we all continue to eat nothing but pasta.

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 31, 2022

complete loser

Donald Trump

A: Who is Donald Trump?
B: A complete loser

by That smartass dude April 10, 2021

completely fair

An inappropriate, cold response to a serious or emotional situation or comment from someone. To be used when the responder really doesn't give a shit. Most effective when used as a hashtag to a ridiculous situation. For example, ruthless capitalist extraordinaire Kevin O'Leary saying it's a "great thing" that 3.5 billion people live in abject poverty was a #completelyfair comment. Best used as a hashtag. Absolutely necessary given all the ridiculousness in the world.

1: My mom died of cancer today after a five year fight.

2: #completelyfair

Liberal: It sucks that 3.5 billion people are living on basically nothing.
Super rich white guy: Completely fair.

by BrownSanctimony January 26, 2014

competition

The breakfast of champions

The pros warned the competition how much they liked the flavor of nubcake xp

by ScegfOd January 15, 2008

Complete Fucking Dumbass

Someone who has not mastered the Russian language.

Dayman says I am a Complete Fucking Dumbass because I have not mastered the Russian language. I cried a little.

by LilacLB January 24, 2011

completist

A person, usually a fanboy type, who desires to collect all the work of a specific author or artist. Most common with jazz and rock musicians, where studio outtakes and live performances are collected and traded. Generally mildly derogatory.

You'd think he'd give it up after the fourth Dick's Picks CD, but truth be told he's just an over-the-top Dead completist.

by Lady Csyde November 24, 2005

Complete Hash of it

A phrase used to describe an event where someone does something in completely the wrong fashion.

Oh Derek, you've made a complete hash of this.

by HiTmAN December 26, 2003