Postmortem Depression (PMD) is a form of clinical depression which often affects people, less frequently deer, after becoming what medical experts around the world refer to as "dead."
Symptoms include sadness, fatigue, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, reduced libido, crying episodes, excessive rotting, anxiety, colonic-maggot infestation, and irritability.
Physicians around the world report increasing rates PMD over the last few decades. In a recent medical double-blind study, results showed that 98% people will die at some point in their life. Out of those, 40% will be diagnosed with PMD, an increase over 27% in 2000, 14% in 1990, and -3% in 2 billion BC.
It is sometimes assumed that PMD is caused by a lack of nutrition (a result of one's digestive system being decomposed) but studies tend to show that more likely causes are the significant changes in a person's (or deer's) hormones during death. On the other hand, hormonal treatment has not helped postmortem depression victims; scientists are still baffled by these findings.
A debunker of the "Hormonal Imbalance Theory," Dr. Isaac Goldbergshtein, of the National Postmortem Depression Research Institute for the Advancement of the Medical Understanding of the Human Mind (more commonly referred to as NPDRIftAotMUotHM), says, "The findings are clear. Injecting a victim of PMD with hormonal injections only results in them being just as dead, if not deadER than they were before. It's just common sense."
Symptoms include sadness, fatigue, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, reduced libido, crying episodes, excessive rotting, anxiety, colonic-maggot infestation, and irritability.
Physicians around the world report increasing rates PMD over the last few decades. In a recent medical double-blind study, results showed that 98% people will die at some point in their life. Out of those, 40% will be diagnosed with PMD, an increase over 27% in 2000, 14% in 1990, and -3% in 2 billion BC.
It is sometimes assumed that PMD is caused by a lack of nutrition (a result of one's digestive system being decomposed) but studies tend to show that more likely causes are the significant changes in a person's (or deer's) hormones during death. On the other hand, hormonal treatment has not helped postmortem depression victims; scientists are still baffled by these findings.
A debunker of the "Hormonal Imbalance Theory," Dr. Isaac Goldbergshtein, of the National Postmortem Depression Research Institute for the Advancement of the Medical Understanding of the Human Mind (more commonly referred to as NPDRIftAotMUotHM), says, "The findings are clear. Injecting a victim of PMD with hormonal injections only results in them being just as dead, if not deadER than they were before. It's just common sense."
Guy 1: "Dude, have you seen Tyrone? For the last 2 weeks since he died after being accidentally shot by a cop 11 times in the face, he just SITS there on the couch, rotting. He doesn't eat, he doesn't sleep, he doesn't go out partying, he hasn't even gone to work in 3 days! We should really talk to him..."
Guy 2: "Yeah, he's really suffering from a severe case of Postmortem Depression."
Guy 2: "Yeah, he's really suffering from a severe case of Postmortem Depression."
by Razgriz117 July 22, 2010
Get the Postmortem Depression mug.one of the many thousands of people who have been laid off or lost their jobs because of the recession.
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Get the depressional mug.This edible food is eaten during newly found heartbreaks when your girlfriend dumps you, seeing your sister marry the high school dumbass therefore dropping out, or your parents kicking you out of the house. Sometimes we all need a good ol' depression sandwich
Samantha: Dammit! Kyle just broke up with me.
Katie: I think you need a good ol' depression sandwich
Katie: I think you need a good ol' depression sandwich
by BoiDafaqqq April 19, 2017
Get the Depression Sandwich mug.Depression is when you wonder what the point to anything is anymore. When you just can’t do anything because there’s a voice in the back of your head asking you why it would even matter. It’s that feeling that tells you not to try, and that emptiness that’s hiding in the pit of your stomach. And depression is NOT just being sad. And it is NOT just how you feel once. Depression is real. And people who need antidepressants or to see a therapists should not be shamed, because they save lives.
Depression is a real mental health problem that needs to be addressed. While I was reading the other definitions, I finally felt like I could relate to someone about it.
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Get the Depression mug.A state of low faith in ones voice and/or singing abilities. Known to both start and end suddenly in otherwise stable people due to hyper-sensitivity specifically in relation to singing. For example, off-hand comments regarding ones singing ability can either trigger or end vocal depression.
Do you wanna record that track today?
Naw, I missed that High B yesterday, and I think I'm in vocal depression.
Oh, hey, I heard your CD last night, it was pretty good.
Oh my god, really?! I think you just cured my vocal depression.
Naw, I missed that High B yesterday, and I think I'm in vocal depression.
Oh, hey, I heard your CD last night, it was pretty good.
Oh my god, really?! I think you just cured my vocal depression.
by a sufferer December 20, 2008
Get the vocal depression mug.The feeling you get after an extremely fun night, when you are sitting at home in your room. (PFD for short-pronounced puf-duh)
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