New Moon

New Moon is the second novel in the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. It is another desperate rant about how Bella's life has gone awry yet again (oh noes =O) because Edward, being a pussy and unable to handle their relationship "difficulties", ditched her and promised to never come back. (Good riddance.)

Bella turns into a zombie because she is completely oblivious of the real world (since her senses filter out anything that is NOT Edward -- ie. Zomg I have friends at school???) and because she had a non-existent personality to begin with. She soon falls dependent on her werewolf rebound, Jacob, who actually thinks it's a score to hang out with Bella. (What d'ya know, another disgrace to supernatural beings.) He has no idea that Bella is just using him as a source of sanity and for opportunities of suicide (because she's so incompetent she lacks the know-how of self-destruction.)

Edward couldn't deal with his epic fail any better, but at least he had the willpower to rid the world of himself. Instead of moving on to, oh, let's say, a more worthy significant other (which should be hella easy to find, after BELLA) he decides to completely waste himself. His actions displayed a form of character UNdevelopment which was somehow interpreted as passion by some people. T_____T

The middle chapters are predictable as hell. Current readers: for your benefit, just guess what happens and skip to the end. Or better yet, ditch the book and read the plot synopsis on Wikipedia to discover that you have saved a great deal of time and brain cells. Really.
Edward: Sht this isn't working. K ummm…. bye!
Bella: O_O Edward... gone? Bella... no live... *commences severe mental and social retardation*
Jacob: YO sweet, a damsel in distress.
Bella: Edddwwaaaarrdddd....OO JACOB! But... Edddwwaaardddd T.T i should go die. <-*sole idea of reason in the whole book*
The rest of New Moon: *random filler action and oh-so-much more corny dialogue*
and GUESS WHAT!? EDWARD AND BELLA GET BACK TOGETHER! WHO’DA THOUGHT!?!?!
Reader: *Resists urge to kill something*
by Angemichelo October 05, 2008
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moon tan

very pale white skin, suggesting they dont see much sun light and making a joke out ov the possiblity of tanning under moon light
nice moon tan
how ya goin moon tan
get ya moon tan out
by piechart August 20, 2008
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moon on a stick

when one wishes to have it all
"would you like anything else? the moon on a stick perhaps?"
by Anonymous September 11, 2003
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Moon Stuff

Homey 1: Hey dawg! Yo got some of that Moon Stuff?

Homey 2: You trippin' Rogue! That shit's bad news!
by ZXY&ABC February 28, 2019
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moon crater

an asshole thats been severly fucked by an moon cock
my moon cock fucked that ass so hard when i was done it looked like a moon crater!
by cherish August 16, 2012
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Sailor Moon

Anime & Manga series by Naoko Takuechi. Sailor Moon is the reincarnated princess of the ancient Moon Kingdom, she and her friends fight to save earth from evil monsters!
I am Sailor Moon! In the name of the Moon I will punish you!
by UniKoRn May 07, 2003
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moon burn

What Irish people and goths get when they go out at night, because they're just that pale. Even the moonlight is too intense for them.
"Can't we perform our dark ritual inside? I'll get moon burned!"
by Chernorizets Hrabr July 20, 2004
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