Lord and Savior Jesus Christ 

Commonly found amongst Wattpad Fanfiction short stories-

I was resting in my bed, reading a Wattpad Cole Sprose fanfiction when suddenly Cole appears in the doorway!
I smile but my expression quickly changes as he grabs me and pushes me up against the wall.
He whispers softly in my ear, and I can feel his hot breath on my neck, “Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?”
“Amen.” I whisper back.
Suddenly, I am rudely awoken by my alarm clock and I cry as I realize I’ll never be able to talk to Cole about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Lord and Savior Jesus Christ by MondayHatesYouToo September 23, 2020

Purple Jesus 

The ultimate party juice! Fill a bathtub(preferably a clean one) with grape kool-aid, quartered citrus fruit, Everclear(or another high proof grain alcohol)and ice. Let it sit for a few hours then party on! The best part is eating the fruit towards the end of the party! Enjoy!

My folks are out of town for the weekend, call the gang and mix up the Purple Jesus!!

Purple Jesus by Incog Neato July 15, 2004

sweet Jesus in a smoking birchbark canoe 

The superlative form of Jesus. (Comparative: "Jesus H. Christ" or "Sweeter Jesus.")

Sam: "Sweet Jesus in a smoking birchbark canoe!"

sweet Jesus in a smoking birchbark canoe by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006

Fag lord Jesus 

This is the king of all faggots. They pray to him everday and night to keep him happy. Thye might even bend over for him

Faggot 1: Did you pray to fag lord jesus
Faggot 2: no i forgot, might as well bend over

Fag lord Jesus by hungryChicken February 6, 2019

Chocolate Jesus 

President Obama. Makes reference to his skin color (black, or "chocolate"), and his status with his followers and the main stream media as an almost messiah-like figure, dispite evidence that he is, in fact, merely another politician.

"Enough about Obama, you'd think this guy is some kind of chocolate jesus the way people hype him."

Chocolate Jesus by fatmandive January 27, 2009

Zombie Jesus Day 

A day where jesus arose from his grave after being dead for awhile! People were like " Ahh, It's zombie jesus!" and " Let this day be known as Zombie Jesus day!" but, the Church being the bitches they bare had to go and distort the story and make it easter instead!

Girl 1: Happy Easter! Ya'll!
Girl 2: Likewise
Girl 3: Ya'll some dumb ass blondes in disguise. It's Zombie Jesus Day not Easter!

Zombie Jesus Day by Black Lilac May 13, 2010

Raptor Jesus 

our lord and the only protection against pedobear

OH NO ITS PEDOBEAR!
dont worry raptor jesus is here to save us! hooray!

Raptor Jesus by xXwafflez_no_jutsuXx April 30, 2010