Shatsturbating

The act of pooping, whilst, simultaneously, masturbating. This act is best accomplished on a toilet, or toilet-esque surface.

"I ate a lot of beans, and then I shatsturbated!"

Larry: "Wow, Turner, what's that smell coming from the bathroom? It smells of quando and poopy."
Turner: "Don't blame a brothah for shatsturbating. It's natchrill."

by Jason Brown Bear January 13, 2008

Slapturbating

When you aggressively slap your genitals to complete ejaculation.

Person: Do you slap to get off?

Person #2: What do you mean?

Person: You know Slapturbating, when you slap yourself to nut

by NjamesC April 1, 2020

blasturbating

Masturbating to porn at full volume while your wife and children are out of the house for an extended period.

John's wife and kids left for the beach today so I'm sure he's been blasturbating since he got home from work.

by Knoodle July 2, 2014

sadsturbating

sad-stur-bae-shun verb to masturbate out of pure sadness

"i was up all night sadsturbating cause I my gf left me"

by The Depressed Llama May 29, 2018

Smashturbating

verb mas-ter-bey-shuhn
Masturbating whilst exposed to gamma radiation. See also: Smashturbation

I was trying to replicate the Captain America's serum and was exposed to extreme gamma radiation, so I started smashturbating to feel better.

by hiitsgabs August 22, 2023

splashturbating

1) To masturbate in the bath
2) To masturbate resulting in excessive 'splashing' fluids

I couldn't sleep last night since my roommie was splashturbating the entire night in the bathroom right next to me.

by VampireBatTom May 7, 2008

slacksturbating

Simultaneously slacking and masturbating.
Procrastinating by act of masturbating.

Mike has been slacksturbating all day.

by DCast August 6, 2015