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Assfumble

Running into a man and dropping your things as a result. Mark Sanchez is prone to assfumbling, but an assfumble can happen on the street. Walking into a man and dropping your bag or running towards the line of scrimmage and hitting your offensive lineman in the ass, fumbilng.
Football Example: Mark Sanchez has the ball, he makes contact with his lineman, assfumble! Patriots have the ball! Patriots have the ball!

Everyday example: Man, I was walking to the store when I ran into a guy and totally assfumbled my phone.
by Jesus Christ of the LDS December 6, 2012
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ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

An event that occurs when a Collector Drone in the video game Mass Effect 2 is possessed by Harbinger, the main villain of the game. It is one of his constantly repeated one-liners designed to intimidate you and it generally fails in that respect. Can be used to indicate that you have had your mind and body taken over by an alien consciousness.
Billy: Hey Jim, want to go to the cinema?

Jim: No i'm good.

Billy: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL.

Jim: Is something the matter?

Billy: YOUR FORM IS FRAGILE. WE WILL DIRECT THIS ONE PERSONALLY. WE ARE THE HARBINGER OF YOUR ASCENSION. I KNOW YOU FEEL THIS. IF I HAVE TO TEAR YOU APART SHEPARD I WILL. YOU HAVE ATTRACTED THE ATTENTION OF THOSE INFINITELY YOUR GREATER.

Jim: No need to be a bitch about it..

Billy: YOU HAVE FAILED.
by HARBINGEROFYOURDESTRUCTION February 21, 2010
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Asspump

This means anyone who is a knee-jerk Neocon, a rude person, someone who has no filter between the brain and mouth, someone who likes to dis people they consider "inferior" to themselves. Someone who has chronic diarrhea of both the brain and the mouth.
Tom: "I can't believer Bill stiffed her for the tip."
Doug: " Yeah, what an asspump."
by Jimbojones 55 March 31, 2010
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ASSUMPTION

1 countable something that you think is true although you have no definite proof
A. assumption that
B. assumption about

2 uncountable formal when someone starts to have control or power
A. assumption of
1. A lot of people make the assumption that poverty only exists in the Third World.
My calculations were based on the assumption that house prices would remain steady.
We are working on the assumption that the conference will take place as planned.
B. People make a lot of assumptions about me.
underlying assumption (=a belief that is used as the basis for an idea, but which may not be correct)

2. the assumption of responsibility
by ELLIOT TINTAS November 24, 2011
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Assume

to make an ass out of u and me.
verb. To believe something is true based upon general unproven observations and reports.
Coining up a foolish, humorous insinuation about somebody or something that is probably not valid.
To make a complete idiot out of yourself or another person by saying that something happened that didn't.
I am assuming we're going to have wonderful weather today.
Assume.
by Notmad February 17, 2013
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Facebook assumption

A very common mistake among gossipy and gullible teens. Its just making assumptions based on snooping people's facebooks, Such as assuming a guy wants to be with a girl if they have a back and forth wall post exchange. Its easy to keep up with information like this because news feeds inform you about everyone's activities and posts. Can also be Myspace assumptions.
Scenario 1: Teen 1: Dude, I think Karl likes Marissa, he posted almost 10 comments on her wall

Wiser Teen 2: Naw man, don't be making facebook assumptions. Facebook posts do not an attraction make.

Scenario 2: Dude 1: I'm so juiced, that cute freshman just sent me 5 messages, I'm definitely asking her out now.

Dude 2: Man, she hasn't even said hi to you in person yet. You're making a facebook assumption. I expected more of you.
by bt-man January 6, 2009
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assumblossom

a point of attention that when focused on reveals its own absence while continuously spawning new infinitely distant proportions unobservable duplicates of itself trying to be known as something when in actuality it is NOT.
All reside in the assumblossom, chase the assumblossom, assume it is and watch it blossom, then come around eventually to realize nothing was there except the assumblossom. chasing your tail the rabbit hole yin yang universe
by didimentionall speak May 7, 2011
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