dirt jerking

When you jerk off while taking a shit.

Girl: Man, Bill has been in the bathroom for a really long time.
Guy: Yeah, he took his phone with him. I bet he is looking at porn and dirt jerking.

by jessford151515 April 12, 2016

jerkin' the gherkin

A euphamism for masturbation.

Paul was jerkin' his gherkin to a Britney Spears video.

by the pope June 11, 2004

Jerkson

The human male wang.

I just don't understand why women are supposedly so critical of jerkson size. All sizes do the same job, so why can't they be satisfied with what they get?? The guy puts it in, thrusts it around a bit for a time, the jerkson eventually sneezes and the woman eventually gets satisfied and VIOLA! Seriously. And, no, I don't know what the women have to say about it from their perspective since I don't talk with any. Should I care??

by antpharm March 6, 2009

jerkoff monkey

Someone who is constantly used by others. Basically a tool of the lowest form.

"Come here you jerkoff monkey, shine these shoes for me!"

by A great person with a big load April 7, 2008

Circle-Jerking

Responding to every status update/photo/like/tweet by your friends, and them doing the same for you.
Also applies when the update/photo/like/tweet is intended purely to get the online attention you crave.

"If Kellyn and Theo keep liking each other's comments and pictures and statuses, I'm gonna block both of them."
"I know. They live and work together. Is it really necessary?!"
"They're circle-jerking."

by the REAL Lex Complex October 17, 2011

jerknesia

The after-effects of a long wanking session that results in the forementioned wanker falling into a wank-induced coma...leading to total loss of memory of the wanking.

Her: So you just jerked it all night?

Him: I don't know, I must have jerknesia.

by Project TB September 22, 2009

Jerking off with both hands

An expression for over-doing something, doing more work than is necessary to complete a task, or the general idea of using an ass-backwards method to achieve a relatively simple goal.

Yeah, well he's always jerking off with both hands.

by maxflight June 19, 2010