When you're awake in the bed next to a sleeping girl, you masturbate and release it all over her. The key here is to make sure she sleeps and does not wake up until you have left the house as she will be shocked and confused about what is on her. Particularly good after a night of drinking.
by Ken Fisher August 31, 2005
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Jesus, after he rose from the dead, as stated in Cyanide and Happiness. Easter is "Zombie Jesus Day."
Teacher: Two weeks after he was crucified, Jesus rose from the dead.
Student: Oh, so he was Zombie Jesus?
Student: Oh, so he was Zombie Jesus?
by rutabega234 April 4, 2010
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Get the Jesus shit mug.jessicasians are the most beautiful girls on the planet. it's comprised of jessica alba and all hot asian females.
by CooCooCoo January 17, 2006
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Jesus never used violence.
Muhammad used violence.
Jesus used love.
Muhammad murdered, killed and used hate.
Jesus did not take any wives.
Muhammad wallowed in wife after wife, even taking children as his wives.
Jesus did not steal.
Muhammad stole and robbed caravans.
Jesus did not force conversions.
Muhammad forced conversions using the sword.
Jesus was a pacifist in spreading his word.
Muhammad used war to spread his word.
Jesus was poor.
Muhammad was rich.
If Muhammad is opposite to everything Jesus was… Think about this… Jesus had a direct line to God, who was Muhammad speaking to?
Jesus spoke directly to God.
Muhammad spoke directly to ……?
Jesus never used violence.
Muhammad used violence.
Jesus used love.
Muhammad murdered, killed and used hate.
Jesus did not take any wives.
Muhammad wallowed in wife after wife, even taking children as his wives.
Jesus did not steal.
Muhammad stole and robbed caravans.
Jesus did not force conversions.
Muhammad forced conversions using the sword.
Jesus was a pacifist in spreading his word.
Muhammad used war to spread his word.
Jesus was poor.
Muhammad was rich.
If Muhammad is opposite to everything Jesus was… Think about this… Jesus had a direct line to God, who was Muhammad speaking to?
Jesus spoke directly to God.
Muhammad spoke directly to ……?
by The Moody Poet February 16, 2009
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