milk emergency

When you eat a cookie or brownie and suddenly NEED milk to satisfy your taste buds so you stop whatever you are doing and all out sprint to the fridge destroying everything in your path to satisfy the urge in the short window that it lasts.

I stiff armed grandma on the way to the kitchen to get a gulp of milk because I had a milk emergency while eating a brownie in the basement while playing minecraft and jerking off.

by milkman262 December 18, 2013

dick emergency

A condition that certain clients will have, causing them to occasionally disregard their manners when contacting a sex worker in an attempt to schedule a booking. Individuals having a dick emergency will often not pay proper attention to screening instructions, will attempt to schedule same-day even if policies state that's not offered, and will sometimes even lose grasp of basic grammar.

ring ring
sex worker: "Hello?"
client: "What are your rates?!?"
sex worker: "WOW. OK, let's start with your name first?"
client: "I'm Chad... can you accept me for a booking this afternoon?!?"
sex worker: "OK, I can see that someone is having a dick emergency today... but let's not totally forget our manners, shall we?"
client: "Sorry, yes. So may I please inquire as to your rates?"
sex worker: "They're pretty clearly stated on my web site."
client: "Where is that?"
sex worker: "You managed to find my contact info online... I'm confident that you can find this information, as well. Along with my screening process. Thank you."
click

by demergency July 8, 2019

National Emergency

Two very big words.

"I am officially declaring a National Emergency."

by BootyWarrior99 March 13, 2020

Indoor Emergency

An Indoor Emergency is the causality of an ironic anxiety when looking at the outside from the inside. The emergency that we are grappling with in this space is a suffering from a perpetual, systematic disconnection from nature.

2020 was a shared indoor emergency: a feeling of helplessness from an isolation not only away from people but also from natural environments.

by AcyrlicAstroTurf March 13, 2021

Potty emergency

When you have to go potty really bad but there's no where to relieve yourself.

Little kid:mommy daddy I have to go potty. One of the parents:there's no potty here you'll have to hold t until we get to one. little kid ten minutes later crying: I need to go potty!!! I'm having a potty emergency!!! One of the parents: stop crying before you use the potty in your carseat. Little kid crying:I can't hold it!!!

by stuffed animal lovers youtuber May 21, 2021

ghosting emergency contact

A ghosting emergency contact is someone who you will have call your family or formerly close friends that you are ghosting to say “If there is an emergency call me, so I can tell Jon if you have an emergency or if someone has passed away.

Hey, Anna, I’m ghosting my parents, will call them and say call me if y’all have an emergency, so I can tell Jon. He is dating a hot chick and she won’t let him talk to his parents. This is what you a call a ghosting emergency contact

by Country Smartass January 21, 2023

How do you emergency?

An emergency can be as personal and small as a bad hair day or as big as trying to improvise during the shortages caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. It can be silly or serious. How do you emergency is a question that travels between the two to provide a sense of empathy and comedic relief.

Some examples of how one might emergency-
-whisper
-eat tacos
-sing in the shower
-dance wen there is no music
-become horizontal

-dress your best
-stretch your fingers
-pull your toes
-walk indoors
-walk outdoor
-take pictures of what you see
-make lists
-open to page 85
-make a diorama
-place stickers in obscure places
-procure dust bunnies
-write a poem about an orange
-clean up an ant spill

-manage microwaves
-exit the window to the rooftop
-pull the e-brake
-make magic out of wood sticks
-pull up grass blades
-clap your hands
-snap your fingers
-tap your toes

How do you emergency? These days I emergency by counting my chickens and collecting hail.

by AcyrlicAstroTurf March 13, 2021