the second worst thing happening for you today 

this is the second worst thing happening for you today, I don't what is the first worst thing but I bet its bad.

So listen up boy, pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing happening for you today!
-Spy, TF2

the second worst thing happening for you today by The Synthetic of the Synthetic February 16, 2022

nope. not today im going back to bed. 

having to get up and socialize but wanting to go back to bed, choosing not to socialize.

person 1: "yo dude!"

person 2: "nope. not today im going back to bed."

person 1: "oh- okay then-"

nope. not today im going back to bed. by meadow_spirittt November 6, 2023

Hi, how are you today 

Like if your doing good, dislike if your not doing so well

Hi, how are you today boss. Good Jimmy.

Hi, how are you today by JéŝùśCĥŕïŝt April 15, 2021

Not today Jeffrey 

When you prevent someone from doing something seconds before they're about to do it.

One of the kids at the daycare was about to eat paste, but I grabbed it away right before he could taste it. I said "Not today Jeffrey!"

Not today Jeffrey by Bezzie999 September 20, 2014

i really wanna die today but thats not gonna happend 

You Just simply really wanna die today, but that sadly is not gonna happend, idk why you even searched this up, but ok lol.
P.S you also wasted your time reading this.

Person 1: i really wanna die today but thats not gonna happend
Person 2: Don't we all?
Person 1: Shut up.

i really wanna die today but thats not gonna happend by im here, but im not here May 20, 2021

Do you know what today is 

Send him nudes when asks “do you know what today is

Him: Hey do you know what today is?
Her: what’s today?
Him: national send nudes day

Do you know what today is by I promise trust me May 20, 2021

I didn't even have Taco Bell today 

A saying used by someone who has come up with a case of unjust diarrhea. They don't know what they are. They just know they are shitting their brains out. (Note: this is interchangeable with Chipotle, both have been known to cause explosive diarrhea and in some cases shit blood)

Jimmy: dude what's wrong with you?
Nick: I don't know dude I've been to the bathroom 13 times in the last 2 hours. I don't even know what happened I didn't even have Taco Bell today

I didn't even have Taco Bell today by T. Thunda January 10, 2015