jesus tits 

generic exclamation of shock, disgust, disbelief, or awe (not necessarily originating from subjects related to christianity nor female anatomy); usually followed by a pronoun in practice

"jesus tits, man, how could you have forgotten the bottle opener...again!" or "jesus tits, dude, that thing missed my ear less than an inch!"

jesus tits by gee-zus TITz April 30, 2003

Jesus Monkey Lords 

What you say when you have nothing else to say
see French Poodle Cheese Dip

jesus monkey lords i am bored!

Jesus Monkey Lords by George Hoefer March 28, 2005

Jesus Lumps-of-Fat-Fucking Christ 

(exclamation): An alternative form of the phrase "Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ," often used in response to intense anger, surprise, or joy by those who are more scientifically-oriented. Also used by those who have made the observation that tits are no more than blobs of fat on a woman's chest, and there's really no reason why men should be attracted to them.

"Jesus Lumps-of-Fat-Fucking Christ Batman!" Robin exclaimed in exalting joy. "I believe the phrase is 'Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ,' and there's no reason for you to be yelling random expletives in the batcave--you remember what I said about using the Lord's name in vain" Batman wryly replied, a small smirk slowly sliding up his weathered cheeks. "Oh please, Batman," Robin replied, "that's so vulgar of you--we both know that 'titty' is such a silly word. And besides, what purpose is there in having sex with two lumps of fat? Shouldn't we just be honest about it? It's absurd." Robin stated very matter-of-factly. "Alright," Batman replied, "just don't come crying to me with your tightpants pulled clear up your ass when you go asking some girl if you can touch her lumps of fat."

Jesus Lumps-of-Fat-Fucking Christ by Jesus Tits December 12, 2008

Jesus Christ 

Didn't exist. Point blank period. Prove me wrong, motherfucker. Some stupid motherfucker people used to sell otherwise, useless criss cross gold trinkets.

Fuck Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ by JayJay1000 September 3, 2018

Jesus Junior 

A vibrator, Dildo, something used to stimulate female sex organs to the point of orgamasm. got its name from Lauren, who said that "Only jesus could make me feel this good." Is often blue and sparkly.

I experianced divine intervention last nite, yeah, a date with Jesus Junior.

Jesus Junior by BLASHAMYURGOINGTOHELL April 26, 2003

Jesus jugs

The boobs you prayed for all your life, never got, and ended up having them installed.

Her Jesus jugs looks so fake!

Jesus jugs by catcee July 13, 2012

Jesus freak 

I am a Jesus Freak and i am not afraid to admit it! I love my God and he is wonderful!I'll be praying for you lost souls!

JESUS rocks my face off!

Jesus freak by Stephanie Allmond February 5, 2005