Schmuckers Slap

When one recruits a dog and a human to have a sexual escapade with them.

Process:
1. Acquire some Smuckers Jelly (Concord Grape is preferable)
2. Paste it all over your hand
3. Rear the hand back all the way in order for the Slap to be most effective
4. Slap it on the ass real good and rub it in
5. Leave the Jelly on for 10 seconds before having your dog lick it up
6. Enjoy.

Man I want to get a schmuckers slap right now.
I just got schmucked.
We are schmucking right now.

by AnonymousPseudonym10 October 8, 2018

Amy Schumer

Verb
Attacking them with a vile stench, typically coming from below you waist

“Damn, this bitch Amy Schumered me.”
“Shit, Kyle. Veronica is nasty.”

by Need That For My Math Class March 1, 2022

Amy Schumer is funnier than you

The most destructive and cruel insult in the English language. Seriously, this is worse than ur mom gay, ur dad lesbian, ur grannie trannie, ur brother a mother, ur sister a mister, and all insults like that combined.

Tom: Your sister a mister!
Paul: ...I'm sorry, old pal. You leave me no choice.
Tom: Hm?
Paul: Amy Schumer is funnier than you.
Tom: *Gasps, then falls to the ground, weakened. Pluto and Neptune explode*

by DrMurrao June 6, 2018

Shit-stained schumacher

disrespectful old bastard with crumbs in its moustache regardless of whether its a man or woman. They are terrified of everything except for their wagon (because it only goes 0.5 mph) In conclussion, a disrespectful faggot god dodger that is as miserable as sin and looks like it has a cactus lodged up its arse.

teenager 1: (to teenager 2) Look, a Shit-stained schumacher, don't ask what its had for breakfast, she's still got a cheerio in her moustache.

by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick October 24, 2008

Amy Schumer

Literally the most unfunny "comedian" to have ever existed. She is only as popular as she is due to feminist and fatties, who adore her, just because she is a woman and "curvy". She can say literally anything about her epic vagina or the countless sex partners she has had, and the crowd will explode in laughter.

Amy Schumer: "Hey guys, penis in my vagina LMAO"
Crowd: HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *literally dies from laughter and diet coke*

by Barndar October 20, 2016

schmaverick

A person who identifies with the right wing, but knows nothing about political ideology and speaks mostly in talking points when it comes to politics. Derived from the words schmuck and maverick.

What a schmaverick. She can't name any supreme court rulings but would like to be VP.

by nugzstradamus January 17, 2010

Shit-stained Schumacher

A driver of a pension wagon who thinks he/she is a superior being. A Shit-stained Schumacher expects to be given right of way and woe-betide any fucker who doesn't. Invariably an ugly bastard with ill-fitting dentures and egg on his pensioner chin. Never without a scruffy fucking CARLTON shopping bag on the handle bar.

Look, here comes a Shit-stained Schumacher. Let's roll the bastard and nick his dentures.

by Clagbo August 22, 2006