Child Support

A sometimes elusive form of income that single mothers seek from their sperm partner. The amount paid out is usually determined by the sperm donor's income. If you are careless, and work a mediocre job, your paychecks will look terribly rediculous due to the obstraction of child support payments given to the mother through the welfare system. Child Support can rage from $50 a week per child if you are blue collar, up to $60,000 a month per child if you are an entertainer or a professional athlete.
However, lack of child support can easily land you in jail, and make your children's mother(s) very nasty and resentful.
Larry played professional basketball. His financial success gave him the instant Shaq Appeal. In a span of 12 months, he fathered 7 children by seven different women and had to pay $15,000 per month per child due to a judge's rulling.
Larry tore up his knee and lost his basketball career and endorsements. He now works at a car wash and takes home $87 dollars a week after taxes and child support payments.
by Mr. Dwayne October 18, 2004
Get the Child Support mug.

child support

When a parent calls one of his/her children for help when assistance is needed with a computer, cell phone, DVR, etc.
My mom couldn't remember how to open her email so she called me for child support.
by lurchman January 03, 2011
Get the child support mug.

child support

n. Money garnisheed from a father's salary check to help support his children.
Kiersten was so excited to see Tyrone with a child support check (the first in six months), she decided do him a favor and go to bed with him, only to find out later he had impregnated her again.
by Richard Black May 06, 2005
Get the child support mug.

child support

The thing you have to sign up for nine months after you came early.
"I came early in my girlfriend today. Creampie!" -Rick

"Ask me how it feels in nine months when she's paying child support." -Wilson

"Nah, she's getting an abortion." -Rick
by Albert Freidstein IV November 08, 2015
Get the child support mug.

Child Support

Something the government keeps forgeting to make unabusable.
Nolan: "I truly hate how easily child support can be abused. It's like legalized misandry. If you're a man, not losing your virginity still does not guarantee safety from this because paternity fraud exists. It is mind-blowing how the government is still ignoring this problem."

Leo: "Bullshit like this is why I'm not planning on getting any bitches, and why I'm avoiding areas where I'm likely to be forced to have sex with a woman."
by MyPseudonymThatsNotMyName September 07, 2022
Get the Child Support mug.

child support

Something that bum ass nigga ain't NEVER finna pay
by EATMYASS101 July 08, 2017
Get the child support mug.

Child Support

The lesser of two evils, the other being actually raising your own kids.
Father: I told my wife she could either give me a blow job or get out. She took the kids and left. Later she realized what a mistake she'd made and returned the kids.

Father's friend: At least you don't have to pay child support.
by Mister Muckle February 20, 2011
Get the Child Support mug.