Alas 

A conclusion.

I'm sad. Alas I'm not happy.

Alas by Werthide July 21, 2020

Preposterous boast, but alas 

Replacement for “weird flex but ok” because it’s overused

Random person: “I didn’t lose my virginity because I don’t take L’s.”
Me: “Preposterous boast, but alas.”

Preposterous boast, but alas by Fresh Timbs October 29, 2018

A Queer Boast But Alas 

An archaic form of Weird Flex but OK used by medieval crusaders and bishops up through the 14th century

Count Michael of Winsuxershire-Upon-Hill the 3rd: Ho! Behold all thoust who are present! I have baked AT LEAST 16 crows into my pie!
Cardinal Willy of Piedmont: *medieval chuckle* lol, you put birds in your desserts instead of goat urine? A queer boast but alas!

A Queer Boast But Alas by xX_Chromosones_Xx December 2, 2018

ala alas 

Hawaiian pidgin for Balls, nut sack, eggs, hairy hangers, scrotum, penis buddies, the tea bag itself

WOW! That dudes ala alas hung so low they touch the toilet water when he's taking a shit.

ala alas by lani girl March 2, 2010

Alaskan crab cake 

An act of pure ritual fetish where by the man cums and shits inside the woman's vagina lips, pinches them together, smacks his mistress ass (i.e. in a three way), then has her eat the shit out of his other hoe's vagina. Historically the ritual involved a dog's prolapsed rectum (i.e. Ritual participants would feed the dog Juan Pablo's Devil Juice to achieve rectal blowout), whale dicks and cattle semen, but since the age of enlightening has become simplified.

Geewhizzz i saw Suzy Rotten Crotch eat Billy's girl's Alaskan Crab Cake with extreme prejudice.

Alaskan crab cake by The Good Dude Giveth September 6, 2016

The Alaskan Pancake Pile Driver Upside Down Milk Machine 

A complex sexual position in which an Alaskan woman is tied naked upside down to a maple tree, covered in syrup, and milked before being humped.

The Alaskan Pancake Pile Driver Upside Down Milk Machine is a common maneuver in the northern outskirts of Canada, where the act will not be interfered with by law enforcement, as it is illegal.

The Alaskan Pancake Pile Driver Upside Down Milk Machine by PoehlerBehr June 5, 2018

Alaskan Blowhole

When your having sex with a girl and you want to fill all holes. you put your dick in her vagina. then your two thumbs in the ears with your pinky's covering the nostril. while your kissing her then shove your big toe up her ass. this will completely cover the holes.

Steven L.: Hey you want to try something new.
Hannah L. : Like what?
Steven L.: Can I give you an Alaskan blowhole.

Alaskan Blowhole by DLDLP February 8, 2017