Maternal Support

Something I don’t have

*I proceed to shed a single tear over my lack of maternal support*

by xX_Chromosones_Xx December 04, 2018

love

A lie

Jeremy: lol, love is fake fam
Mike: haha, I’m gonna be forever lonely

by xX_Chromosones_Xx December 03, 2018

Disappointment

What my mother calls me when I get a B on my geometry test before she makes me sleep outside

Mom: Robert! Get in here! You got a B? What a disappointment to this family. Go outside and sleep in the cold.

*I proceed to grab my teddy bear and Bible and go outside to appease my crazed mother*

*I also slap myself repeatively while self-scolding myself for my sins against my mother*

by xX_Chromosones_Xx December 04, 2018

A Queer Boast But Alas

An archaic form of Weird Flex but OK used by medieval crusaders and bishops up through the 14th century

Count Michael of Winsuxershire-Upon-Hill the 3rd: Ho! Behold all thoust who are present! I have baked AT LEAST 16 crows into my pie!
Cardinal Willy of Piedmont: *medieval chuckle* lol, you put birds in your desserts instead of goat urine? A queer boast but alas!

by xX_Chromosones_Xx December 03, 2018