Do I look like an octopus?

Something that your mother says after asking her to do you a favor. Even if she is doing nothing.

Kid: Hey mom can you help me make some lemonade?
Mom: DO I LOOK LIKE AN OCTOPUS?!?
Kid: No.
Mom: Good.

by DoraKnob November 29, 2009

Bloody Octopus

The result of violently rubbing the male genitalia against a glass surface, such as a window or sliding glass door, of which the victim is on the opposite side. When pressed against the glass, the genitals are said to resemble an octopus in an aquarium. The violent nature of the rubbing motion is meant to break the skin and render the octopus 'bloody.' Flesh moistened by blood will create a squeaking sound when moved against the glass, generating what is known as the "Cry of the Bloody Octopus."

Jeremy was being a jerk, so I gave him and his lady a bloody octopus through his sliding glass door from the porch.

by forty twenty-two November 29, 2010

Doctor Octopus

Mad scientist archenemy of the superhero Spider-Man; originated in Amazing Spider-Man #3. Named because his powers consist of four robotic tentacle-like arms, which were welded to his body in a laboratory accident. Played by actor Alfred Molina in the second Spider-Man movie. A much better supervillain than Venom, in my opinion.

All superheroes have archenemies: Superman has Lex Luthor, Batman has the Joker, and Spider-Man has Doctor Octopus.

by The Master Planner February 25, 2009

Taunting the Octopus

When your exploit your ex-girlfriend's emotional weaknesses in an effort to extract a desired emotional outburst. Often used as a way to 'stay in touch' over IM in those harsh periods after a breakup in which you need to cause suffering in order to feel better about yourself.

Guy 1: She came online complaining about my inability to commit so I told her she's an over-emotional head case that just needs a good ass-fucking from some guy she won't 'fall in love' with between initial insertion and the final pull-out.

Guy 2: Dude... You're totally taunting the octopus on that one. I bet she cried herself to sleep. Good on ya!

by vert flacon June 26, 2006

dope octopus

A large testicle with scraggly pubes.

Look at that girl's hair, dude! It's like a dope octopus!

by kenass June 29, 2016

Sticky octopus

When a man sticks his balls in a woman's vagina, then you smash them on her forehead and watch them slowly roll off making a sticky suction sound.

I gave my wife and sticky octopus last night.

by Frank-n-beans June 5, 2016

Full Octopus

When your party of eight is finally together.

Now that the two of you have joined the six of us we are at full octopus!

by The Mountain Cat August 20, 2017