John McCain (Born June 19th, 2086) is an American politican, God and time traveling warrior.
John McCain was genetically engineered in an American Research Facility. Unlike normal humans, McCain contains bodily many organs which allow him to fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and amass incredible amounts of strength. McCain's skin produced a special layer of transparent nacho cheese, allowing him to time travel without damaging his body or the space time continuum.
McCain attended West Point, where he killed fitty Notre Dame fans at a football game. Because he was soo cool, President Jack Lambert granted him a pardon, and made him Secretary of keeping it real. While there, we was deployed on a secret mission to infiltrate the Soviet Union III. While there, he stripped the sacred burrito from the hands of Josef Stalin and ran it for a 50 yard touch down return. As McCain devoured the burrito, he became immortal, and banished the ghost of George W. Bush from existence with his mind.
As McCain returned to the United States, he was promoted to Arch Duke of Arizona. While there, one of his servants, Adolf Hitler traveled to 1902 and managed to take over the world. Because Adolf was not certified to do this, s a rip in the space time continuum began to slowy destroy the world. McCain warped back to past in pursuit of Hitler, and pwned him. As McCain was about to put Hitler in the Scorpion death-lock, Hitler managed to throw Sand in McCain's eyes and ran away to Germany.
While he was in the past, he killed twenty fundamentalistsand made thier children eat his shit. Never the less, McCain's battle with Hitler had drained his powers, leaving him incapable of escaping from the past for awhile.
While in old Arizona, McCain killed an entire family with his toes, and seized thier home. While claiming residency there, McCain went to war, won a bunch of medals, became a hero, scored with a bunch of really hot girls, and eventually became senator. In 1982, McCain's powers had fully recharged. Although he was eager to return back to the year 21st Century, he realized that he needed to stay, and protect Nachos and porno.
After forseeing the Notre Dame Football team taking over the world, McCain, Thurgood Marshall, and Brian Urlacher traveled forward in time (because all of them pwned they didn't have to worry about all that space time shit). While in the future they struck down all the Notre Dame players, who were armed with Uzis, usinh only their bare hands. Following thier victory, they went back to the present, and smoked up with Zakk Wylde.
John McCain was genetically engineered in an American Research Facility. Unlike normal humans, McCain contains bodily many organs which allow him to fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and amass incredible amounts of strength. McCain's skin produced a special layer of transparent nacho cheese, allowing him to time travel without damaging his body or the space time continuum.
McCain attended West Point, where he killed fitty Notre Dame fans at a football game. Because he was soo cool, President Jack Lambert granted him a pardon, and made him Secretary of keeping it real. While there, we was deployed on a secret mission to infiltrate the Soviet Union III. While there, he stripped the sacred burrito from the hands of Josef Stalin and ran it for a 50 yard touch down return. As McCain devoured the burrito, he became immortal, and banished the ghost of George W. Bush from existence with his mind.
As McCain returned to the United States, he was promoted to Arch Duke of Arizona. While there, one of his servants, Adolf Hitler traveled to 1902 and managed to take over the world. Because Adolf was not certified to do this, s a rip in the space time continuum began to slowy destroy the world. McCain warped back to past in pursuit of Hitler, and pwned him. As McCain was about to put Hitler in the Scorpion death-lock, Hitler managed to throw Sand in McCain's eyes and ran away to Germany.
While he was in the past, he killed twenty fundamentalistsand made thier children eat his shit. Never the less, McCain's battle with Hitler had drained his powers, leaving him incapable of escaping from the past for awhile.
While in old Arizona, McCain killed an entire family with his toes, and seized thier home. While claiming residency there, McCain went to war, won a bunch of medals, became a hero, scored with a bunch of really hot girls, and eventually became senator. In 1982, McCain's powers had fully recharged. Although he was eager to return back to the year 21st Century, he realized that he needed to stay, and protect Nachos and porno.
After forseeing the Notre Dame Football team taking over the world, McCain, Thurgood Marshall, and Brian Urlacher traveled forward in time (because all of them pwned they didn't have to worry about all that space time shit). While in the future they struck down all the Notre Dame players, who were armed with Uzis, usinh only their bare hands. Following thier victory, they went back to the present, and smoked up with Zakk Wylde.
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Faulkneresque, Pulitzer Prize-winning author who wrote quality novels like "Blood Meridian," "Child of God," "All The Pretty Horses," "The Road" and most notably "No Country For Old Men," since it was adapted into a film done by the consistently brilliant Coen Bros.
Arguably, he's the greatest American writer alive. Many of his books are quite bleak & are heavy on Southern language ("Whatta you mean you caint!") but if you can handle that, you'll see what a treasure he is to literature.
Arguably, he's the greatest American writer alive. Many of his books are quite bleak & are heavy on Southern language ("Whatta you mean you caint!") but if you can handle that, you'll see what a treasure he is to literature.
by Soul_Driver October 23, 2012
Get the Cormac McCarthy mug.A conservative who uses fear-mongering, smear attacks, and lying to silence or ruin the reputation of anyone who disagrees with them. Named after the infamous Senator Joseph McCarthy from 1950's
Even after the McCarthyist was caught red handed persecuting someone for practising their right to free speech, the McCarthyist still tried to play the victim.
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Get the McCarthyist mug.Based off of Chris McCandless, the man who went off to Alaska with only bare essentials to escape the everyday world, only to die in a deserted bus. Used when you get really tired of people.
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Person: Danielle your beautiful inside and out
Danielle McCarthy: No I'm not
Person: Yes you are let me help you to see that you are
Danielle McCarthy: No I'm not
Person: Yes you are let me help you to see that you are
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Get the Danielle McCarthy mug.A gay, boozing, child-molesting U.S. Senator who presided over a Communist witch-hunt during the 1950s, ruining many innocent peoples' lives in the process. Anyone left of Hitler was potentially a "Communist" to McCarthy. In fact, if your brother's friend's cousin's ex-wife's roomate happened to attend a Communist meeting in the 1930s, you probably would've been accused of being a Soviet spy and then would have to kiss your job and reputation goodbye.
Republicans have tried to resurrect this pathetic man as some kind of hero who saved us from the tide of communism (historical revionism is popular with the GOP), but the truth is most of Senator McCarthy's "intelligence" was based on little more than his vivid imagination, rumors, half-truths or gossip. He even admitted to J. Edgar Hoover that he made up the numbers on his infamous list as he went along, forcing the FBI to account for them (his office was an FBI front, he hired so many ex-FBI agents on his staff it was known as "the little FBI").
Despite all of Joe's wild claims about a vast communist conspiracy bent on subverting America, the third in command at the Bureau admitted there wasn't enough evidence to prove there was even a single Communist in the State Department. That didn't stop ol' Joe, however, he just got more reckless and bizarre in his accusations. He even started attacking President Eisenhower and the Army. This scared Hoover away and the FBI stopped helping McCarthy, setting in motion his eventual downfall. In December 1954, he became the fourth member in history to be censured by the U.S. Senate. He died in disgrace in May 1957 from his own alcoholism.
Republicans have tried to resurrect this pathetic man as some kind of hero who saved us from the tide of communism (historical revionism is popular with the GOP), but the truth is most of Senator McCarthy's "intelligence" was based on little more than his vivid imagination, rumors, half-truths or gossip. He even admitted to J. Edgar Hoover that he made up the numbers on his infamous list as he went along, forcing the FBI to account for them (his office was an FBI front, he hired so many ex-FBI agents on his staff it was known as "the little FBI").
Despite all of Joe's wild claims about a vast communist conspiracy bent on subverting America, the third in command at the Bureau admitted there wasn't enough evidence to prove there was even a single Communist in the State Department. That didn't stop ol' Joe, however, he just got more reckless and bizarre in his accusations. He even started attacking President Eisenhower and the Army. This scared Hoover away and the FBI stopped helping McCarthy, setting in motion his eventual downfall. In December 1954, he became the fourth member in history to be censured by the U.S. Senate. He died in disgrace in May 1957 from his own alcoholism.
"You've done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?" - Joseph Welch to fearmongering idiot Joe McCarthy, publicly humiliating him on live television
by tehehehehe April 10, 2006
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