A Festi Bat is when a male partakes in the activity of masturbation during a music festival. Festivals are usually longer than one day although not necessarily so, as Festi Bats have been known to occur at one day festivals such as Stereosonic and Parklife.
Usually undertaken in the extreme heat of the middle of the day, the festi bat is a method of not only achieving a great deal of relief but also killing time until the point at which it becomes acceptable to once again recommence the alcohol and substance abuse that also occurred the previous day(s). Hence the Festi Bat is a valuable and multifaceted music festival tool.
The festi bat is a risky activity due to the fact that it takes place in close proximity to other festivalgoers, usually separated by only a thin piece of nylon, and would bring a great deal of embarrassment to the batsmen should he be caught or heard.
(NB: The Festi Bat is generally frowned upon by female festivalgoers and may decrease the chance of picking up that evening.)
Usually undertaken in the extreme heat of the middle of the day, the festi bat is a method of not only achieving a great deal of relief but also killing time until the point at which it becomes acceptable to once again recommence the alcohol and substance abuse that also occurred the previous day(s). Hence the Festi Bat is a valuable and multifaceted music festival tool.
The festi bat is a risky activity due to the fact that it takes place in close proximity to other festivalgoers, usually separated by only a thin piece of nylon, and would bring a great deal of embarrassment to the batsmen should he be caught or heard.
(NB: The Festi Bat is generally frowned upon by female festivalgoers and may decrease the chance of picking up that evening.)
Guy 1: Just had a festi bat, best decision I've ever made.
Guy 2: That is such a good idea, i'm going to go and have a festi bat now. Hopefully by the time I'm done we can start drinking alcohol again.
Guy 2: That is such a good idea, i'm going to go and have a festi bat now. Hopefully by the time I'm done we can start drinking alcohol again.
by knackerbags January 3, 2011
Get the Festi Bat mug.a constantly snacking, morbidaly obese, blood sucking, fishy smelling secret C.I.A. observer who uses mind control over students with the "sign in sheet", while at the same time being the Nazi leader of the ginger rebellion with no other use in life than to deplete the happiness of those surrounding this being and to waste the oxygen which could efficiently be used by other, more compelling members of society with meaningful jobs.
when a fat german Nazi ginger reproduces with an ignorant meaningless being to create an utterly low member of society, also known as "fatti patti"
by anti-Pattsie May 27, 2009
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fettis
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• Fetti Nütttt
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• Fettichine
• fetticuini
• fettig
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• fettihead
A fattie page is an overweight woman who attempts to emulate the style of Bettie Page. They are very easy to spot due to the hideous jet-black 'Bettie Bangs' they wear. This hairstyle looks ridiculous even on attractive girls, but it is especially comical when paired with the swollen plump face of an obese woman.
The fattie page is in the same family as rockabilly. In addition to the hairstyle they usually are covered in tattoos, chain smoke, wear very old fashioned clothing (think 40s-50s), pretend to be badass, and hang out in dirty dive bars with other 30+ year old white people who are also trying to look like tattooed versions of characters from Grease.
The obsession they have with Bettie Page (and vintage pinup girls in general) can be directly linked to their obesity. Models from that era were heavier than models we have today. You can always count on a fattie page saying "curves are sexy" and of course "Bettie Page would be called fat by today's standards." They like to use this as a way to feel attractive, and modern beauty standards are the reason why nobody finds them sexy. What they fail to understand is that Bettie Page was still half their size, and that nobody outside of the fashion industry would ever consider her fat if she was walking around today. All it takes is a quick glimpse at a picture of Bettie Page to see that "curvy" is not the same as "fat".
The fattie page is in the same family as rockabilly. In addition to the hairstyle they usually are covered in tattoos, chain smoke, wear very old fashioned clothing (think 40s-50s), pretend to be badass, and hang out in dirty dive bars with other 30+ year old white people who are also trying to look like tattooed versions of characters from Grease.
The obsession they have with Bettie Page (and vintage pinup girls in general) can be directly linked to their obesity. Models from that era were heavier than models we have today. You can always count on a fattie page saying "curves are sexy" and of course "Bettie Page would be called fat by today's standards." They like to use this as a way to feel attractive, and modern beauty standards are the reason why nobody finds them sexy. What they fail to understand is that Bettie Page was still half their size, and that nobody outside of the fashion industry would ever consider her fat if she was walking around today. All it takes is a quick glimpse at a picture of Bettie Page to see that "curvy" is not the same as "fat".
John: So did your girlfriend drag you to that roller derby match?
James: Yeah it was horrible, the music was shitty and I had to sit behind a fattie page.
James: Yeah it was horrible, the music was shitty and I had to sit behind a fattie page.
by Thelastnormalpersonintheworld October 7, 2013
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by anonymous September 4, 2022
Get the fettihead mug.Food associated with obesity, particularly soda, junk food or anything containing high fructose corn syrup.
Actually, we do subsidize vegetables like corn, but then it just gets turned into fattie feed anyway.
by fattiefeeder April 2, 2008
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