Everyone is Twelve Now

A social theory describing the phenomenon where adults in American society display the emotional maturity, decision-making skills, and behavioral patterns of twelve-year-olds.

Origin: Coined by Patrick Cosmos (@veryimportant.lawyer on Bluesky) as a "unified theory of American reality" that went viral on social media in 2025.

Example 1: "Did you see how that guy threw a tantrum when his coffee order was wrong? Everyone is twelve now."

Example 2: "'Everyone is twelve now', she complained, when in response to HuffPost’s query about who suggested Budapest, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt responded, 'Your mom did', and White House communications director Steven Cheung replied: 'Your mom'."

by patchmonkey October 17, 2025

Twelve Monkeys

Now that we are clear

Come back let’s not waste anymore time.

I will not ask you about anything, I will not mention it.

Just come back I forgive you. You don’t have to be ashamed.

Twelve Monkeys was us.

I grew up with you. I don’t want to lose you. Do you want to lose for something I didn’t do? Twelve Monkeys.

by 12 Monkeys April 4, 2022

twelve dollar situation

an mild inconvenience, especially one that causes confusion or distracts from the main point

Sally dropped a umbrella and it spilt her cup of coke on Shaun. He had to clean his shoes and was late for his tennis match. Sally got him into a twelve dollar situation

by lollygagger38 September 3, 2022

twelve past

The same as midnight.

It's twelve past.

by TeacherLu January 23, 2017

Twelve car garage

Being a fookin loser

Why you got a twelve car garage. Gang

by Its6PM October 24, 2017

Twelve O’ Clock

When you try to get someone to notice a cute/attractive person.

“Dude, look! A cute girl at twelve o’ clock!”

by EmmaRosie July 5, 2021

twelve

a person of any age or age group that displays the mental or behavioral qualities of that of a 12-year old. twelve (12) in this definition is used as an adjective rather than the traditional noun (being the literal number '12'). being called "twelve" is never used as a compliment, this is strictly an insult. if "twelve" is used to suggestively address someone who is obviously younger than 12 years of age, they will likely be offended. this term is solely used toward anyone obviously older than 12 years of age, as it signifies lack of experience, common sense, or maturity that should exist in someone of their true age.

Person 1: uranus is my favorite planet. get it? get it??? urrrr anussss
Person 2: bro what are you twelve? go sit down somewhere, man.

by TheOneAndOnly0929 January 17, 2024