Fecal fingers

A person who doesn't wash their hands after doing number 2. Also associated with anal fingercourse.

Why wouldn't he wash his hands after taking a shit? Friggin fecal fingers...

by Schismrobo January 7, 2008

Fecal Incontinence

The inability to control fecal matter from sliding out the anus and into the pant leg.

As a result of too much anal sex, the muscles used to keep the feces inside the rectum literally lose their "tread."

What it's like to have Fecal Incontinence

"Fuck you."
"No! Fuck you! You're adopted."
"Yeah, well, at least I don't shit my pants involuntarily."
".....You're adopted."

by gwaijai June 12, 2009

Fecal Viscosity

A high and low measurement of the thickness/solidness of one's feces. High Fecal Viscosity means constipation. Low Fecal Viscosity means loose, watery stool.

Roger was urinating in the men's room when he heard the man in the handicap stall suffering from low fecal viscosity. He was taking a mop bucket dump.

by Eaton Holgoode April 27, 2015

Bovine Fecal Matter

Bovine, meaning something has qualities of an ox/cow; bull.
Fecal Matter, obviously is "poop".
When combined, it serves as a lovely way to say "Bullshit."

Also, an abbreviation (BFM) can be used.

Mom: "You're grounded. You should have cleaned your room before you went clubbing."

Me: "Mom, that is bovine fecal matter and you know it."

"Hey, did you hear our football team lost because the ref didn't pay attention? Total BFM."

by eastlakehigh07 October 9, 2009

fecalate

The act of excreting fecal matter out of ones anus. i.e. to shit

Man, I got to get to the bathroom before I fecalate in my pants.

by fracex January 24, 2007

fecal phantom

The act of pooping on objects with out being seen. Mostly done solo and in conjunction with a night of hard drinking. Spots hit roofs of cars, ash trays, top of mailbox, counter tops, jean pockets. ect....

Some one took a crap on the roof of my car last night. The fecal phantom struck again.

by Bob Oso April 20, 2006

Fecal eclipse

When a person poops out a solid turd that is immediately followed by a stream of diarrhea, thus darkening the toilet water and obscuring the original turd from view. A fecal eclipse can be partial or total, depending upon the volume and opacity of the diarrhea. Because a mixture of solid and liquid shit is already rare, a total fecal eclipse where the view of the original turd is completely blighted from view is considered one of the rarest occurrences in the natural world and has long fascinated scientists and the casual observer alike. Throughout history, cultural interpretations of fecal eclipses have varied widely. For example, in China during the late Sung Dynasty, a fecal eclipse was thought to portend a favorable rice harvest in the upcoming growing season. In contrast, the ancient Egyptians, particularly during Egypt's Middle Kingdom period, believed that a fecal eclipse signaled that the annual Nile River flood would be too severe and wash away more of the nutrient-rich silt than it deposits, thus leading to a period of hunger and famine. In 19th century Ireland, a fecal eclipse was generally regarded as a sign of good luck for the person producing it, but with no broader implications for the rest of the community.

Tony: How as that poop?
John: I had this awesome long turd and I wanted to send you a pic, but then I had some diarrhea which caused a total fecal eclipse. Water was too cloudy to see anything.
Tony: Strange. I wonder what fortune this portends for you.

John: Don't be superstitious dude. It's a rare but completely natural phenomenon.

by Butt Pirate Roberts May 21, 2018