Titty Lasers

The vestigial defensive reflex of a female to compress her breasts, producing a high intensity laser, intended to ward off the opposite sex and nothing else

I tried to make a move on Lucy, but she chased me off with her titty lasers

by The Captian May 5, 2015

Reverse Laser Snake

The sex position where you put your toe so far up someone's ass their body reverses itself. Then you stick the pe pe in.

"I got Reverse Laser Snaked last night"

by DingusDan1028 January 7, 2019

Facebook Memory Lapse

The instance when one takes a "couple secs" to check his/ her facebook before starting homework, spends an hour checking, then forgets entirely what they were doing the moments before checking facebook

Girl: Hey did you get the annotations for English done last night?
Guy: Shit, I must've had facebook memory lapse, I totally forgot!
Girl: Dipshit

by ThatOneWhiteMan January 12, 2011

the sun is a deadly laser

a quote by Bill Wurtz explaining why the fish from the Cambrian Explosion can't go on land

Hey can we go on land?
No, the sun is a deadly laser
Oh okay
Not anymore there's a blanket

by Kittyferns June 2, 2023

LaserBear

The most dangerous animal known to man, described as a bear with unlimited access to the awesome power of lasers. They are extremely rare and are native to the Colorado Rockies. Their access to lasers comes at puberty, after an important laser-christening ceremony at the age of 4 (17 in bear years).

I'm sorry, Larold is out of the office due to the recent LaserBear attack he endured.

Aunt Flo's death was a tragedy, made all the worse by the fact that she was mauled by a LaserBear.

by Nighthawk Justice May 27, 2009

Newton's Flaming Limp Laser Sword

A philosophical postulate that states, "That which cannot be proven or disproven should probably not be argued about, but let's do it anyway to get some needed blood pumping."

Jenny: So if you could travel back in time, would you kill your grandfather?
Keenan: I invoke Newton's Flaming Limp Laser Sword!
Jenny: So? I totally would.
Keenan: Hell no!

by aotako June 8, 2011

Laperle

to make plans to attend an event, down to the most finite detail with ZERO intention of EVER going to this event. Intentionally left hanging for someone else's self-amusement.

If you make plans with Dan and he never shows up you have been Laperled.

by friendnumbertwo March 4, 2010