Furlough Fucker (noun) - A person who is paid 80% of their normal salary by the UK government and refuses to actually listen to it. Can often be seen flouting the rules and ignoring every step of government guidance. Constantly complain that they are not being topped up the extra 20% by their employer. Can commonly be seen in large crowds in parks, beaches, back gardens and everyone elses houses because they feel like the rules don't apply to them. Complain that some key workers get to go to the front of the queue at Supermarkets because they are the lucky ones that actually have a job and CAN go to work. Impartial to an illegal rave and copious amounts of laughing gas because it eases their pain of being furloughed and Covid-19 can't be transmitted whilst drunk, if it is transmitted then they just say that they were drunk. Lastly, complain that they are bored and unhappy about life so queue for hours outside stores and then spend an eternity inside to keep others out.
by Roberto_the_realisto June 18, 2020
Get the Furlough Fucker mug.Similar to the effects of Stockholm Syndrome
This describes people who have been put on furlough that now face the grim prospect of returning to work after months of government funded drinking but would rather not.
Now people are becoming accustomed to their new way of life of being paid to be philosophical and wake up in the mid afternoon their dreams are shattered at there boss phones to say we’re open again and you’ll have to earn your money. This call would have been welcomed in the before times instead of redundancy , but now you’ve had the greener grass, you’d rather stay home with your family and maybe have a go on the washing up.
For the last few weeks the most taxing thing that’s happened is an awkward handover from a food delivery driver, almost like they were handing over a primed dirty bomb, once the box is inside and had a quick going over with some antibac your laughing.
Sadly this greener grass is wilting though and the treasury is out of cash to keep it going. You need to cut your own hair to look reasonable and order some overpriced masks to protect yourself and head out on an expedition to the office (insert soiling sound)
Stay safe
This describes people who have been put on furlough that now face the grim prospect of returning to work after months of government funded drinking but would rather not.
Now people are becoming accustomed to their new way of life of being paid to be philosophical and wake up in the mid afternoon their dreams are shattered at there boss phones to say we’re open again and you’ll have to earn your money. This call would have been welcomed in the before times instead of redundancy , but now you’ve had the greener grass, you’d rather stay home with your family and maybe have a go on the washing up.
For the last few weeks the most taxing thing that’s happened is an awkward handover from a food delivery driver, almost like they were handing over a primed dirty bomb, once the box is inside and had a quick going over with some antibac your laughing.
Sadly this greener grass is wilting though and the treasury is out of cash to keep it going. You need to cut your own hair to look reasonable and order some overpriced masks to protect yourself and head out on an expedition to the office (insert soiling sound)
Stay safe
Worker 1: Garry not coming back to work then?
Worker 2: No, he got Furlough Syndrome and couldn’t face coming back. He’s on universal credit until he feels “less stressed..... and sober”
Worker 2: No, he got Furlough Syndrome and couldn’t face coming back. He’s on universal credit until he feels “less stressed..... and sober”
by Mr roborobo May 11, 2020
Get the Furlough Syndrome mug.A reject that will act like a baboon just to get noticed. They have no moral compass and no real purpose on the planet. A waste of air and space. A female Chachi.
by MysticRiver September 30, 2020
Get the Furlan mug.In the UK, a term used for welfare for typically middle - upper class people who still wish to distinguish themselves from the 'underserving benefits scroungers' they vote to abuse. Money for nothing except it's different if you're rich somehow.
Bob: I just got furloughed due to Covid-19, f*ck I might have to sell my second country home, can't afford much on 5k a month to sit on my ass.
Janet: But you said you thought welfare bums should be on the street.
Bob: Yeah but I'm different.
Janet: But you said you thought welfare bums should be on the street.
Bob: Yeah but I'm different.
by megafapper1995 March 13, 2021
Get the Furlough mug.A condition, mainly affecting people placed upon furlough; the primary symptom of which (induced by the Return To Work phase) is an incredibly tiresome zeal and lack of cynicism. Also can induce extreme cases of Cover My Arseosis.
“Alan’s been running round the office shouting that if we don’t keep our supply of paperclips topped up, the whole fucking world’s gonna end, and he’ll be liable”
“Eugh, Furloughitis muthafuckaaaaaa”
“Eugh, Furloughitis muthafuckaaaaaa”
by GeoffreyGoynes May 26, 2021
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