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Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
by Catamount June 21, 2008
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Buffing The Finger

Rather than just "flicking the finger" at someone, Buffing The Finger involves the individual making an all too ostentatious and elaborate show of buffing up or polishing their middle finger finger nail; this in itself should be seen as part of the overall gesture. Given that the gesture itself is elaborate, it would do no harm to embellish the overall presentation of the digit with a quip such as "I made this for you... can you see your face in it?".
I saw she was buffing the finger at me so I polished up my retort...!
by Vengeful Spirit December 15, 2011
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Buffing the chimp

The art of male masturbation once you mature enough to realize its cheaper to keep her and you resort to a regular schedule of buffing the chimp instead of chasing strange tail .
Lou took a half a day again today, I bet he's home buffing the chimp.
by Slump Daddy January 24, 2014
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Buffing the Pearl

Jennifer was late to class because she lost track of time while buffing the pearl.
by Anthony Caporale March 2, 2006
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buffing the happy lamp

the manly art of masturbation, or buffing the helmet but just plain nicer.
The wife was away, so I had to buff the happy lamp till my knuckles bled.

Sorry I missed your call, I was buffing the happy lamp.
by The nige August 1, 2006
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buffin' the bishop

When a girl masturbates a guy by rubbing her hand over his penis rather than actually grabbing it it's called "buffin' the bishop"
Judy didn't want me to ejaculate too quickly, so she started "buffin' the bishop" so it would take longer.
by Kim Gregory January 2, 2009
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Buffing The Finger

Rather than just flipping the finger at someone, buffing the finger is am ostentatious and elaborate gesture of polishing up the middle finger finger as and intro to the offensive gesture itself. The add elan and flair, why not include a quip such as "Can you see your face in that?".
I saw her buffing the finger and quickly polished up my response.
by Vengeful Spirit December 15, 2011
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