A company that has created an operating system that'll eventually follow in the footsteps of VIKI on I, Robot. It'll first take your memory so you can't do anything without a 5 minute wait, then it'll procced to piss you off with error messages.
Person: Where has all my memory gone?
Windows XXP: I have removed it for you own safty, please remain calm.
Person: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*Bill Gates cackles away evily in his office*
Windows XXP: I have removed it for you own safty, please remain calm.
Person: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*Bill Gates cackles away evily in his office*
by Random Idiot September 16, 2005
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by ~The Nameless One~ May 28, 2005
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1. It is EVIL!!!!!!!!
2: It wastes over 100 megs of hard drive space
3: Despite what Bill claims, it's not really free. Each installed copy of IE costs exactly one soul.
4: IE has more bugs than a bait store!
5: Installing it automatically signs you up for the security hole of the week club.
6: It can send your personal information to Microsoft.
7: It's been known to bite people's heads off.
8: Its installation process overwrites system DLLs with newer version that are not always 100% compatible.
9: The majority of people still use Netscape.
10: Microsoft wrote it. Do you really need another reason?
11: It scares young children.
12: Borg implants tend to itch like crazy.
13: It's proprietary; they don't want you to know what's in it.Mozilla's source code can be downloaded for free.
14: IE is "integrated" in to Windows. Netscape is a well behaved application. When IE crashes it can hose the system. Netscape won't do that.
15: The DOJ isn't after Netscape.
16: ActiveX allows hackers to do ANYTHING with your system. That's not true with Java.
17: Microsoft's Java is not compatible with standard Java and vice versa.
18: Netscape Navigator is available for more platforms that Internet Explorer. Heck, IE 6 dosn't even run on Windows 95!
19: If the install fails it can leave your system unusable.
20: Internet Explorer is evil.
21: If the install succeeds your system will be unusable.
22: Who in their right mind would want to view their hard drive as a $#%#@ web page?!
23: Overactive desktop? What exactly does that *DO* besides slow down the computer anyway?
24: Yes, we all want advertising on our desktops don't we? Nuke the channel bar.
25: You will just love the oversized tool bars if you have a 640*480 screen.
26: IE 4 on Windows 95 is basically Windows 98. And you know what a mess Windows 98 is right?
27: It has been rumored that IE can cause modems to explode.
28: Both the installer and the uninstaller are about as stable as nitroglycerin.
29: Need to use IE 3 AND IE 4? Forget it, you would have to dual boot between browsers... because IE is part of Bills OS.
30: Remember that RAM upgrade you did a few months ago? Well, you will need more.
31: 50 megs free on drive C: and 5 gigs on drive D:? Sorry, it installs 98% of its crap in the Windows system folder on drive C:!
32: Did you ever notice how easy it is to mistype "IE 4" as "IE $". Or is "IE 4" the typo?
33: IE has been proven to cause cancer in lab animals.
34: Once Micro$oft has crushed Netscape, they will cease any attempts to improve IE. (Not that they have put much effort in to it as it is).
35: ActiveX is limited to IE on Windows95/98/NT. It won't work on Mac, Linux, DOS, Windows 3.1, etc. or with other browsers.
36: It will make your monitor spin and vomit.
37: Do you really understand the IE license in legal terms? You are now Bill's towel boy.
38: IE is so evil, even Satin won't use it.
39: Most web content is still developed for Netscape Navigator.
40: IE is such a smelly piece of crap, even Mr. Hanky won't get near it.
41: The web is based on open standards. Open standards are incompatible with Internet Explorer, or any Microsoft product for that matter.
42: If you care at all about the data on your hard drive you won't install it.
43: Microsoft forces people to install and use it through bundling and unnecessary integration. If it were really any good do you think they would have to do that?
44: AOL uses IE.
45: Did I mention IE is evil?
46: Each time a copy of Internet Explorer is installed, Bill Gates has an orgasm.
47: IE's full name, MSIE is pronounced "messy". Do you really want to be a "messy" user?
48: Because "Everyone is doing it". That is the wrong reason to do anything.
49: Because management thinks IE is good.
50: For businesses, IE and Windows 98 have no place in a business environment because of all the non-optional advertising and distracting bells and whistles.
51: Because only a couple of the entries in this list are jokes. The rest are TRUE.
52: Netscape Navigator / Communicator is STILL better than IE.
53: Netscape has a cool mascot, Mozilla. Microsoft has Evie the Evil "e".
54: IE changes the way your Windows 95 desktop works even if you don't install the "enhanced" desktop.
55: At various points IE identifies itself as being "Mozilla" compatible. Why use a bad clone when you can use the real thing instead?
56: Compaq ships business computers with Windows 95 (or NTWS 4), not 98 because many companies don't want 98 and it's mandatory browser.
57: When Compaq ships IE 4.01 on Windows 95, they include a nice little leaflet titled in big letters "Problem with Microsoft Internet Explorer 4.01 for Windows 95 - Computer Non-responsive on Shutdown"
58:All Micro$oft crap is well crap!!!
Disclaimer: I can not be held responsible for the damage or loss of data that IE will cause. Anyone who installs IE because of this list deserves what he/she gets.
2: It wastes over 100 megs of hard drive space
3: Despite what Bill claims, it's not really free. Each installed copy of IE costs exactly one soul.
4: IE has more bugs than a bait store!
5: Installing it automatically signs you up for the security hole of the week club.
6: It can send your personal information to Microsoft.
7: It's been known to bite people's heads off.
8: Its installation process overwrites system DLLs with newer version that are not always 100% compatible.
9: The majority of people still use Netscape.
10: Microsoft wrote it. Do you really need another reason?
11: It scares young children.
12: Borg implants tend to itch like crazy.
13: It's proprietary; they don't want you to know what's in it.Mozilla's source code can be downloaded for free.
14: IE is "integrated" in to Windows. Netscape is a well behaved application. When IE crashes it can hose the system. Netscape won't do that.
15: The DOJ isn't after Netscape.
16: ActiveX allows hackers to do ANYTHING with your system. That's not true with Java.
17: Microsoft's Java is not compatible with standard Java and vice versa.
18: Netscape Navigator is available for more platforms that Internet Explorer. Heck, IE 6 dosn't even run on Windows 95!
19: If the install fails it can leave your system unusable.
20: Internet Explorer is evil.
21: If the install succeeds your system will be unusable.
22: Who in their right mind would want to view their hard drive as a $#%#@ web page?!
23: Overactive desktop? What exactly does that *DO* besides slow down the computer anyway?
24: Yes, we all want advertising on our desktops don't we? Nuke the channel bar.
25: You will just love the oversized tool bars if you have a 640*480 screen.
26: IE 4 on Windows 95 is basically Windows 98. And you know what a mess Windows 98 is right?
27: It has been rumored that IE can cause modems to explode.
28: Both the installer and the uninstaller are about as stable as nitroglycerin.
29: Need to use IE 3 AND IE 4? Forget it, you would have to dual boot between browsers... because IE is part of Bills OS.
30: Remember that RAM upgrade you did a few months ago? Well, you will need more.
31: 50 megs free on drive C: and 5 gigs on drive D:? Sorry, it installs 98% of its crap in the Windows system folder on drive C:!
32: Did you ever notice how easy it is to mistype "IE 4" as "IE $". Or is "IE 4" the typo?
33: IE has been proven to cause cancer in lab animals.
34: Once Micro$oft has crushed Netscape, they will cease any attempts to improve IE. (Not that they have put much effort in to it as it is).
35: ActiveX is limited to IE on Windows95/98/NT. It won't work on Mac, Linux, DOS, Windows 3.1, etc. or with other browsers.
36: It will make your monitor spin and vomit.
37: Do you really understand the IE license in legal terms? You are now Bill's towel boy.
38: IE is so evil, even Satin won't use it.
39: Most web content is still developed for Netscape Navigator.
40: IE is such a smelly piece of crap, even Mr. Hanky won't get near it.
41: The web is based on open standards. Open standards are incompatible with Internet Explorer, or any Microsoft product for that matter.
42: If you care at all about the data on your hard drive you won't install it.
43: Microsoft forces people to install and use it through bundling and unnecessary integration. If it were really any good do you think they would have to do that?
44: AOL uses IE.
45: Did I mention IE is evil?
46: Each time a copy of Internet Explorer is installed, Bill Gates has an orgasm.
47: IE's full name, MSIE is pronounced "messy". Do you really want to be a "messy" user?
48: Because "Everyone is doing it". That is the wrong reason to do anything.
49: Because management thinks IE is good.
50: For businesses, IE and Windows 98 have no place in a business environment because of all the non-optional advertising and distracting bells and whistles.
51: Because only a couple of the entries in this list are jokes. The rest are TRUE.
52: Netscape Navigator / Communicator is STILL better than IE.
53: Netscape has a cool mascot, Mozilla. Microsoft has Evie the Evil "e".
54: IE changes the way your Windows 95 desktop works even if you don't install the "enhanced" desktop.
55: At various points IE identifies itself as being "Mozilla" compatible. Why use a bad clone when you can use the real thing instead?
56: Compaq ships business computers with Windows 95 (or NTWS 4), not 98 because many companies don't want 98 and it's mandatory browser.
57: When Compaq ships IE 4.01 on Windows 95, they include a nice little leaflet titled in big letters "Problem with Microsoft Internet Explorer 4.01 for Windows 95 - Computer Non-responsive on Shutdown"
58:All Micro$oft crap is well crap!!!
Disclaimer: I can not be held responsible for the damage or loss of data that IE will cause. Anyone who installs IE because of this list deserves what he/she gets.
by James "Mr X" Smith January 16, 2004
Get the micro$oft mug.A terrible corporation that creates money by adding 3 lines of code to Vista and calling it Windows 7
by SpockTron January 18, 2010
Get the Micro$oft mug.by armadilloshand June 3, 2009
Get the MicroDouche mug.Any person who works for Microsoft. They are not able to come up with an original thought. Some people say they are all creatively dead. Others say they are a mindless human being.
Microsoft Zombies are known for stealing ideas from Apple and Linux. Their implementation of a stolen idea is always sub standard. They are also known for trying to prove to the world their products are better.
Microsoft Zombies are also very hypocritical. They are known for saying Google is a monopoly because they have a large share of the internet search market share. If you point out Microsoft has over 90% of the desktops, they will tell you that is "different".
Microsoft Zombies are known for stealing ideas from Apple and Linux. Their implementation of a stolen idea is always sub standard. They are also known for trying to prove to the world their products are better.
Microsoft Zombies are also very hypocritical. They are known for saying Google is a monopoly because they have a large share of the internet search market share. If you point out Microsoft has over 90% of the desktops, they will tell you that is "different".
Today a Microsoft Zombie told me to "bing" it.
I went to purchase an IPhone, but a Microsoft Zombie told me I should get a Windows Mobile device.
Only a Microsoft Zombie would say Google has a monopoly!
A Microsoft Zombie will keep a straight face when he tells you Windows Aero is not a rip-off of Linux's Compiz Beryl.
A Microsoft Zombie will try to convince you Windows 7 is cool and hip, and Snow Leopard is a tool of the devil.
I went to purchase an IPhone, but a Microsoft Zombie told me I should get a Windows Mobile device.
Only a Microsoft Zombie would say Google has a monopoly!
A Microsoft Zombie will keep a straight face when he tells you Windows Aero is not a rip-off of Linux's Compiz Beryl.
A Microsoft Zombie will try to convince you Windows 7 is cool and hip, and Snow Leopard is a tool of the devil.
by Microsoft Alumni April 6, 2010
Get the Microsoft Zombie mug.Company bent on world domination. This however will never happen because people keep transferring over to Linux.
Bob: Man I hate Microsoft Windows Xp!!! :(
Rob: That's why you should have switched to Linux you dolt!
Rob: That's why you should have switched to Linux you dolt!
by 1337 |-|4x0|2 May 21, 2006
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