New Jersey

Jersey in a nutshell, “fuh” starters people dislike “arrr” accents. People who are “Joisey” born and raised (No one says “joisey”, it’s “jurzee”) they have accents that may make them say “cawfee” or “dawg”, this is local flavor. Would you want every part of the country to sound the same? I’d want to go to Wisconsin and hear “Oh Shore Bud” so when I’m in Jersey I want to hear “Yo, how much fuh dem shewz”. Regions are boring without their local stuff. New Jerseyans are blunt, rude, loud, and short fused. But that’s just because we don’t know you yet. Catch us at a pizzeria or a “hoagie”,”cawfee”, or “baygal” shop, and we’ll be better. We go to Rutgers only and yes we’re upset that the Nets were moved from Jersey, no we don’t care about the Jersey Devil, or the Devils hockey team, that’s just pamphlet “gawbage”. (That’s Brooklyn) don’t you dare confuse us with that vile borough. At least you didn’t confuse us with Staten Island. *Shivuh down my “spooiine”* NJ is one of the safest places in the country, “jus” avoid Newark, Camden, Trenton, or Atlantic City. Well Maybe AC. If you go there don’t play any rap music loudly, unless it’s Meek Mill, or anything drill. You can go to the diners speckled around the state, and we take them seriously. Everyone goes to the mall for literally every other thing we buy.

Maybe you can buy a bathing suit to go to the “shore”, pronounced “shore”, and sure is pronounced “shore” as well, no it’s not confusing, and yes, you will see fake tans, dyed dark red weaves, and girls with hoop earrings. And don’t “fuhgit” about our poorly placed rose tattoos that lie behind our ears, or where you shouldn’t be looking. In New Jersey everyone is on their way to somewhere else, and you’ll get “chuh” “fillins” hurt if you drive the speed limit on any turnpike. Our roads are better than in “dirty asz new york”, and “bumpy asz philly”. And most of us aren’t italian, and no none of us want to be, and yes we think an hour drive is too “lawg”. We don’t pump “arr” own gas, you peasants. NJ is unique and if you live here it’s mostly like a lot of other places, but if look closely you can see that you get Yom Kippur off from school, and the state is dense af. Our weather is balanced, great theme parks, malls, authentically imported food, the “f’n” board”wawk” “fuh” “cryin” out loud. Oh yea, and fuck the Jersey Shore tv show.

by maniwanttogohome September 23, 2021

Circle Jersey

Before the circle jerk begins, all participants pull their shirts over their head so they can’t see whose jerkin who…

Hey guys do you wanna have a quick circle jersey? Shirts up buds!!!

by Shiznitzky October 27, 2021

New Jersey Fried Street Chicken

A delicacy from New Jersey made from the famous restaurant Aceti Spaghetti owned by Master Chef JeromeASF

Waiter: What can I get for you today sir?
Sam: Can I get the New Jersey Fried Street Chicken please.

by Bloob bloob January 19, 2022

New jersey finger shake

When a girl gets fingered then shits into a cup after she squirts into the shit filled cup it is blended up then consumed by a nigger

Hey i think she just did a New jersey finger shake

by Gorillatesticles December 31, 2021

New Jersey - Part 2

If you haven't seen part 1, go look at it it's on my profile. Anyways here's another around 1500 characters of my 5178 character fucking essay on how amazing New Jersey is because the definition character limit is 1500 characters. Here goes (i don't backtrack, this is all the writing that comes after the new york one, I don't backtrack not one bit.) - or "california is infiltrated by influencers who would wanna live there?" or "no one gives a shit about your state it's cold as fuck and the only thing good about you is seafood, plus you're fat because your weight is high because MASS-achusetts - Science Nerd 2763" or "new york is just a place to live with 10 roommates and ruin your life". We have the USA Ambassador to Burkina Faso and Benin, we have the guy who designed the MLB logo, we have Tom Cruise, we have Shaquille O' Neal, we were home to FUCKING THOMAS EDISON (hence the city, Edison), we have Richard Nixon, Queen Latifah, Paul Rudd, Grover Cleveland, Frank Sinatra, Martha Stewart, Brittany Murphy, Zach Braff, Thomas Mitchell, Michelle Rodriguez, Ray Liotta, John Amos, Dennis Boutsikaris, Benjamin Burnley, Lou Costello, Buzz Aldrin, Sean Baker, Judy Blume, MERYL FUCKING STREEP, Bruce Springsteen, Whitney Houston, Bud Abbott, and a whole lot more that won't fit in the character limit. Check my profile for part 3 I promise it's up because these were all written and posted within the same 10 mins.

New Jersey is the most amazing state with good tomatoes bagels pizza etc.
That's the end of New Jersey - Part 2 part 3 is up on my profile go look it IS there i promise you.

by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022

Emerson New Jersey

A really small and shitty town that is so depressing that people can’t even go 2 miles without leaving it because it is smaller than my thumb

Don’t you dare go to Emerson New Jersey.

by WilburSoot5000 March 23, 2021

New Jersey

Simply put, the best state in the Union. Too often, Jersey is judged on Newark and Camden and the slums. But the Jersey Shore and yes not the beach but the shore is the best. Everyone who hates Dirty Jerse should go Down the Shore. We have kickass pizza and bagels, and the best diners in america; food is where its at. We gave you Springsteen and the Sopranos, We have 2 NFL teams in Rutherford. And yeah we do know how to tawk.

New Jersey is a kickass state, the haters should shove it.

by Matt0912 July 21, 2009