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life insurance

The investment you make betting that your worth more dead than alive. Upon death your investment usually results in your family getting rich.
John was a loser not worth a crap to his family, then he died and the life insurance made then filthy stinking rich.
mugGet the life insurancemug.

Insurance agent

One of the shittiest people there are. Usually have a shitty name like Jeff and pretend to give you a "deal" in order to sign you up but one you get into an accident you'll soon realize you don't know even have insurance. Usually bundles all kinds of insurance together too so he makes the most money and you don't even know about it.
I'm so excited I just got new insurance at a low rate from my insurance agent!

Did someone named jeff sign you up?

Yeah he did!

LOL, you played yourself.
by Extremeist June 14, 2017
mugGet the Insurance agentmug.

Life Insurance

The reason why people kill their spouses
by UltimateDoge November 11, 2022
mugGet the Life Insurancemug.

fire insurance

As in hellfire. When a wealthy individual, having rapaciously climbed the ladders of success to get to the top, feels pangs of guilt for the unethical deeds done along the way to get there. Fearing a legacy of scorn, or, if a believer, an eternity of damnation, he or she takes out "fire insurance" in the form of donations to charity and / or public displays of contrition at speaking events, etc.
Marco: Looks like another Ted Talk from a dot com billionaire decrying capitalism—a little fire insurance never hurt, did it?

Polo: Yeah, that person also just had a new building named after her downtown. It's a homeless shelter. The employees of the old companies she destroyed live there now.
by Helvidius October 19, 2019
mugGet the fire insurancemug.

Car Insurance

When you have sex in a driverless car on the highway. Hope you enjoyed it, It'll probably be the end.
We really tested out our car insurance last night, didn't we, sis?
by Condomant May 25, 2023
mugGet the Car Insurancemug.

pip insurance

When a woman pays for sex with her pussy.
I want some drugs but don't have any money....but I do us my pip insurance
by Omedi March 4, 2022
mugGet the pip insurancemug.

ticket insurance

The one car going faster than you when you're speeding on the freeway. The general idea is that you can go as fast as you want as long as the other guy is going faster, that way if a cop sees you both speeding he will pull over the other guy and not you.
Wow, I'm going 80 in the fast lane and this jackass just zoomed past me. Ticket insurance!
by The 5th Floor December 17, 2012
mugGet the ticket insurancemug.

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