by Epic Jesus November 2, 2007
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What you say when you see something awesome or unbelievable, or when something really bad or stupid happens to you. Also the name of your landscaper or gardener if you pronounce the "J" as an "H."
"Jesus that girl's tits are huge!"
"Jesus, that dumb bitch just about wrecked!"
"Jesus, please trim the hedges when you are done edging the flower bed."
"Jesus, that dumb bitch just about wrecked!"
"Jesus, please trim the hedges when you are done edging the flower bed."
by fhkq October 6, 2018
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Get the Jesus Nikes mug.Dark Jesus, also referred to as DJ is the absolute equal and opposite of Jesus. No not the Anti-Christ, the Anti-Matter Christ. He is composed entirely of anti-matter and where Jesus' energy comes from light energy (God), giving him the ability to control matter. DJ's comes from dark energy (also God but from the perspective of the anti matter dimension) and he has the ability to control dark matter.
If you follow DJ then your soul will transcend matter and go to anti-matter heaven.
If you follow DJ then your soul will transcend matter and go to anti-matter heaven.
by One of many disciples July 31, 2019
Get the Dark Jesus mug.I was resting in my bed, reading a Wattpad Cole Sprose fanfiction when suddenly Cole appears in the doorway!
I smile but my expression quickly changes as he grabs me and pushes me up against the wall.
He whispers softly in my ear, and I can feel his hot breath on my neck, “Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?”
“Amen.” I whisper back.
Suddenly, I am rudely awoken by my alarm clock and I cry as I realize I’ll never be able to talk to Cole about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
I smile but my expression quickly changes as he grabs me and pushes me up against the wall.
He whispers softly in my ear, and I can feel his hot breath on my neck, “Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?”
“Amen.” I whisper back.
Suddenly, I am rudely awoken by my alarm clock and I cry as I realize I’ll never be able to talk to Cole about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
by MondayHatesYouToo September 23, 2020
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